Looking through water
by ER FANatic
Summary: Carter is in love, but the different backgrounds of him and his love cause problems as does her past. Carter is cute. Pratt is a friend! Updated up to chapter 21! thats 2 new chapters! thank u for ur support and pls R&R!
1. Chapter 1

The Chicago snow fell relentlessly on to the ambulance bay while a young group of med students scurried into the reception area in the ER. 

Deb smiled at the keen students while remembering her own days as a med student, stressing out over exams and asking unnecessary questions. 

There were 3 med students in all. One, who would have passed for a high school student his baby face and blonde hair. The other guy seemed rather self assured with black hair freshly cut around his handsome face. Deb was sure that he was diagnosing patients in the waiting area with his eyes. The last med student was a young woman, smartly dressed with her brunette hair hanging loosely around her beautiful face. 

"Excuse me, we are looking for Dr Carter… we're the new med students…do you know where he is?"  

"Yeah just give me second, I'll tell him you're here" 

Deb ran in to the lounge where Carter was drinking a soda while completing some charts.

"John, looks like the celebrity of being chief resident is wearing thin… you got a fresh batch of naïve looking med students waiting for you in the seating area" 

"Cheers Deb... tell them I'll jus be a sec"

*******

"I'm Doctor Carter and you must be Michael, Chris and Sara, this is the waiting area, the reception area….

Carter showed the med students around, talked about their responsibilities etc.

"If you do well at med school, you should survive. Any of you at the top of your class?"

"Yeah, Sara is"

"When I normally ask that question I don't get a positive reply. So what type of medicine do you wish to go into?"

Sara looked at the packed ER and replied "Well, I'm pretty sure I want to go into Emergency medicine, its looks challenging."

"Challenging an understatement but I got to admit its rewarding. What about you Chris?"

"Surgery."

"I started off in surgery but then I transferred into the ER. What about you Michael?"

"Paediatrics or geriatrics. I like working with kids and the old." 

"You've got your starter packs, Chris you can go up to the OR, take the lift its the second floor and Michael you can go up to level 4. Sara, you can come with me"

Sara followed Carter around the ER, while Carter assessed patients, wrote out prescriptions etc. 

"You can start handling patients tomorrow, just the minor cases. Any difficulties come and find me or ask a nurse to find me. So what made you go into medicine?"

"To be honest I was going to go into Law but I was offered a better scholarship in medicine so I took it. I don't regret it now though, but the late nights revising and trying to have a social life sort of clash"

"Don't expect it to be any different now. Weaver, who's our chief isn't going to let you slack off, trust me. But you must have worked really hard to get a scholarship"

"Basically I had really good grades and to get the scholarship I had to show interest in another aspect of school life. I chose sport and basically I got in"

"What do you like to play?"

"Anything really, but I love basketball"

"Same here. We have a hoop in the ambulance bay"

"Sounds good, we have to have a match one time"

"Yeah, sure"

Carter continued checking patients and talking to Sara. She seemed like a nice girl and not like the image of a nerd that he first thought if her as. Time went on and Sara had to get home and prepare for tomorrow.

"Be here bright and early tomorrow. Take care"

"Nice meeting you, and I'll see you tomorrow"

Carter walked over to the reception area to pick up his last chart for today. Pratt came over with a grin on his face.

"That new med student is fine. I'll be happy working closely with her for a few months"

Abby looked at Pratt disgusted "Is that all you think about? She's way out of your league Pratt"  

"She seems nice enough; just give her time before she develops the arrogance of a doctor" replied Haleh in an undertone

" What was that Haleh?"

" Oh nothing"

"All I can say is she's some much needed eye candy and I don't care if she's out of league, it's going to be a fun couple of weeks"

"She's actually really clever, she got a scholarship and gets high marks, and I bet she'll see right through you"

"Carter seems to have taken a shine to the new med student"

"Shut up Pratt"

Kerry walked over and the staff quickly dispersed and began making themselves look busy.


	2. Chapter 2

The following day, the weather seemed to have pitied the residents of Chicago as the sun emerged from behind the clouds, melting the snow that had embedded itself on the rooftops. 

The doctors of the ER began their day "treating and streeting" patients that seemed to have clogged up the waiting area. It always marvelled Carter how in the matter of 15 hours the ER could have transformed from an almost deserted area to one packed freshly with its own unique batch of problematic patients. Carter was distracted from his thoughts when Sara came out of the doctors lounge ready to start her first day in county.

"Hey, Dr Carter. So, where shall I start?"

"Well start on the minor cases for today, you can assist in a few traumas as long as I'm there"

"Ok, that's fine"

Pratt walked over to Sara as she made her way to pick up her first chart. The nurses stopped their talk about Days of our lives and took notice of Pratt's mission.

"Hey baby, I'm Greg Pratt, Carter informs me you're a top student. Maybe you could tutor me today around 7 in the five rivers?"

"First of all, its Dr Richards and secondly, sevens not good for me, I think I may come down with the flu but if you need a tutor to help to work out the symptoms just use the study guide in the doctors lounge all right baby?"

At this point the nurses unsuccessfully tried to hide their amusement as Sara picked up her chart and made her way to curtain 3 to assess a fractured hand.

"Damn Pratt, I thought you were quite smooth"

"Shut up Haleh"

As the day went on, and patients came in and out, the staff at County grew to like Sara; she seemed to bring life into the hospital. Susan and Sara found that they both lived in the same suburb while growing up, while Deb found Sara's academic success a reflection of her own when she was a med student. The nurses seemed happy enough due to her polite tone and appreciation of their help, while Abby and Sara shared a few inappropriate jokes about ex-boyfriends. Weaver was pleased with the quick diagnosis's Sara had made and the number of patients she had got through, whereas Luka was amazed by her desirable figure. Carter was pleased to have a decent med student to work beside himself, one who could follow instructions and use their own initiative. 

C: "Sara, I need your help, there's been an accident and a 6 year olds coming through"

S: "ok, I'll be right there"

C: So what have we got?

P: This is Jessica, blood pressure normal, complains of stomach pain and a headache, age 6, her mums coming to"

C: Hi, Jessica, I'm Doctor Carter and this is Dr Richards and we going to take care of you"

J:  I want my mum

S: I'm sorry sweetheart but your mum's been hurt too and the other doctors are looking after her. 

J: I want my Dad.  I don't like needles and he always holds my hand.

S: Its alright sweety we've called your Dad and he said he'd. be here as soon as he can. Oh I like you doll, what her name? 

J: Her names Cathy

S: That's a nice name. Do you have any other dolls?

J: Yeah, I have loads. Daddy brought me a…

The helpful distraction enabled the nurses to give her some medication. 

C: Pupils reactive, air ways clear. Ok, honey, I'm just going to feel your belly you've got to tell me if it hurts. 

J: Ow

C: Sorry honey. Can we have an ultrasound and an X-ray?

S: No obvious cuts or bumps on her head. But to make sure I'd like to do a cat scan

D: Hi, I'm Jessica's father. How's she doing?

J: Daddy!

D: Hey Princess

C: well she may have internal bleeding but we are still running tests to make sure.

S: Yeah a small perforation of her large intestine

C: cAT scan clear. Mr Saunders your daughter needs to go to the OR and have an operation to stop her bleeding any further.

D: What?!

C: A surgeon from the OR will talk over the procedure with you

J: I need an operation?

S: Yeah honey, I'm sorry but you're going to have the best surgeon in the hospital with you and your going to be fine! I'll. take care of Cathy for you and when your better I'll. come and give her back to you.

Dr Romano came downstairs and took Jessica upstairs while her Dad held her hand.

C: You seem to have a way with kids. Ever thought about paediatrics?

S: No way, I couldn't handle seeing sick kids all day, I'd get depressed. But I love kids, my brothers and friends have got kids and I love playing with them. They're more entertaining and bold than most adults I've met.

*****

Later on, Pratt seemed to continue to dwell on his rejection

P: You nurses keep telling me how nice Sara is and yet I don't think she likes me

Abby: Why don't you just ask her why she's being cold towards you- no one else seems to have a problem

Pratt grabbed his chance

P: Look Dr Richards, I don't understand why you dislike me so much, I was only trying to make you feel welcome

S: Finally you addressed me like a lady. That is all I'm asking for. I don't dislike you; it's just that I don't talk to guys who talk to women like that. 

P: How about we start again?  
  
S: yeah sure, Hi, my names Sara  
  
P: Greg Pratt  
  
S: "The latter part of your name must be a reflection of your personality."  
  
P: "oi, I thought we had made it up"  
  
S: "Sorry I was only joking, I can't help it sometimes. I bet your thinking of a way to get even now- unfortunately you can't be very creative with "Sara Richards" although my brothers call me baby girl."  
  
P: "well baby girl, you wanna go out to lunch?"  
  
S: sorry can't at the mo, Weavers got me monitoring a heart patient, maybe some other time G  
  
P: G? That's what my brother Leon calls me. How did you know that?  
  
S: I figured you were Leon's brother. Leon and me where friends when I was in High school. He was a friend of my brothers, Omarion; hence I was pre-warned of your tendencies.  
  
P: Omarion was your brother? But he was…

S: What Black?

P: Well yeah

S: Well actually I'm of dual heritage. My dad was black and my mum was white.

Sara interpreted the expression on Pratt's face as utter confusion and felt she needed to elaborate.

S: When I was 6 J adopted me, so I grew up with Omarion, J and Tyrese. I don't care if we don't have the same blood running in our veins there my brothers and I'm their sister. They given me more love and support then most people receive from their families in a lifetime.

  
P: I met Omarion once, he was telling Leon about you, and how you kicked the ass of a guy who cheated on you when you were 14.   
  
S: Yeah  
  
P: That means you were the one who was with Omarion when he died? The story spread like wildfire through every ghetto town in America.  
  
S: Yeah I know. They treat my family and I like some sort of legend because of what we stood for and all the stories. Most of them are exaggerated you know. They make us sound like some invincible force fighting against evil.  
  
Sara and Pratt stood in silence as they began to remember what their families had lost over the years. Pratt lost his brother Leon, not physically but mentally whereas Sara lost her brother whom she had loved more than life itself.  
  
Beep Beep.   
  
S: Look I better go. Weavers paging me  
  
P: All right then. Um, Sara if you ever need to chat or anything you know where I am  
  
S: Thanks G, but I'm fine!

  
As Sara walked to the curtain area, Pratt watched her with a new found respect for her. He felt sadness for the sufferings she must have faced in her life but respect for the challenges she has had to overcome over the years, loosing friends and family in the on going fight against gang violence and drug related crimes which were inevitable growing up where she did.   
  



	3. Chapter 3

The following week was hectic one for the doctors and nurses of the ER. Another hospital was having renovations made to the ER so could only admit a certain number of patients, hence county had to take in a lot of patients.

Susan: Hey Sara, you're in for a treat, there's a guy in 4 who's having irregular bowl movements!

Sara: Thanks Susan, I've just eaten

Susan: So has he

Sara: Anyway, what happened to this place? Looks like a bomb exploded in here

Susan: Mersey's only admitting a handful of patients and lucky us get to pick up the slack

Carter: Oh you're here- you look slightly sleep deprived. Studying hard then?

Sara:   Nope, I was out clubbing last night and got in like 5 hrs ago

Carter: Haven't you got an exam tomorrow??

Sara: Yep- don't look so worried, I know the material, I studied all weekend.

Susan: Which club did you go to?

Sara: Gass, about a block away from "Shelly's"

Susan: We've been trying to get in there for ages. It's supposed to be really good

Sara: Come with me next time- your sure to get in

Susan: Have you got a boyfriend who works there??

Sara: Oi, what are you implying?

Sara: Actually I have an Ex who works there but we are really good mates now

Susan: Ooh, a happy break up and I thought those were legendary

Sara: Not where I come from

Carter: Will you stop gossiping and try and clear the board

Susan: All right already

Susan passed Sara a chart while Susan stepped out to get a bagel.

The day was a busy one, as everyone worked hard trying to rid the board of problematic patients. 

Jerry: Sara, there's a guy called James, waiting for you at the reception area. 

Sara: James? Tall, dark handsome?

Jerry: Well he's tall and dark

Sara: Tell him I'll. be there in a minute

Sara finished with her patient and walked over to the reception area

Sara: Hello stranger

James: Baby girl!

James hugged Sara and swung her around while the occupants of the reception area watched trying to look uninterested.

James: So, hows my favourite gal?

Sara: I'm good. How are you? I can't believe your back, how long for???

James: Well not for long, just for a couple of days. All the guys and gals are going out tonight. You've got to come; it will be like old times!

Sara: I'll. be there just tell me where and when?

James: What time does your shift finish?

Sara: 9.00

James: Fine, I'll. pick you up here at 9.30 

Sara: OK, but I need to go home and pick up some cloths

James: Can you take a break now? I'll give you a lift!

Sara: Yep.

James: I only got one helmet though

Sara: That's fine

Susan: Ah hem

Sara: Oh sorry, James this is Susan, John, Abby, Jerry and Chuni. 

James: Hello everyone. So, Susan are you free tonight?

Sara: How's your girlfriend, Leslie, then James?

James: I was only kidding Sara

John: So you ride a motorbike??

James: Yeah. I just brought a new one

John: And your going to ride home on it now?

Sara: Yep. 

James: I'm a safe driver- Sara's the dangerous one though

Sara: Stop winding him up

John: You can ride??

James: This girl used to nick her brother bike when she was 14 and go out for rides around the block

Sara: Enough about me- shall we go?

James: Yeah. Nice meeting you all

Sara and James left the ER together.

Chuni: Damn he was cute

Susan: I'm gonna get Sara for stopping him talking to me

Carter: HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND

Susan: AND? You don't like him because he rides a motorbike

Carter: There dangerous and she shouldn't be on one

Susan: She's your med student not your daughter!

Carter: yeah I know but still

Sara returned 15 minutes later. 

Carter: You've eaten?

Sara: Yeah sort of- I grabbed a coffee and a bagel from the stand- I thought I'd take a leaf out of Jerry's book

Carter: I'm going to Doc Magoos- you wanna join me??

Sara: Yeah sure

They walked over and Carter ordered a steak and chips while Sara opted for a salad to compensate for her earlier unhealthy choice.

J: So, how do you know James?

S: Well we grew up together. He's like family

J: Do you have a lot of close family?

S: Yep loads. My Mum and Dad passed away when I was 5. J adopted me so I've got my brothers J and Tyrese. I had another brother Omarion but he passed away a few years ago.

J: I'm sorry

S: Sounds like a rubbish life but I assure it weren't. And there are numerous friends who grew up in the same neighbourhood and we treat each other like family

S: What about you?

J: Well my mother and father and myself aren't close. However I have Gamma- she brought me up. 

S: She sounds nice

J: Yeah well she is. So you ride a motorbike?

S: yeah- oi why are you smiling for? Whats so shocking?

J: When I first met you, you seemed like a squeaky clean med student, studious well behaved and now I hear you broke the law at the age of 14 by riding a motorbike

S: Trust me I did a lot at 14. I went clubbing, rode motorbikes, bunked of lessons, entered dance contests (and won mind you). See, never judge a book by its cover!

J: Multi talented I see

S: Yeah well in some cases it cant be helped. 

J: It sounds like you gave your brothers a hell of a time!

S: Actually Tyrese and me did all that together. Omarion used to know what we were up to and never told J. When he found out, he was furious but realised that he was fighting a losing battle and just told us to tell him if ever we bunked off school. Everything else he was fine with 

J: Some people have all the luck

S: I can just imagine you as the well behaved little boy

J: Oi, I did get into trouble a couple of times and I did most of the normal teenage things

S: Like??

J: Going to parties, going out with girls, drinking, smoking. Ok, So it isn't as entertaining as your teenage years but I enjoyed them.

S: Smoking?? J would have slaughtered me!   

J: Anyway enough about my unhealthy habits lets talk about yours. Your shattered and your planning to go clubbing tonight and you have an exam tomorrow!

S: Don't worry John. I'll be fine, I'm a tough one not to mention brainy! 

J: I don't doubt it, but just don't push yourself too hard.

S: I won't

The food arrived and they both ate heartedly.

J: Actually I was going to ask you a favour

S: Shoot

J: I was wondering if you could help our basketball team out? We've got a match the day after tomorrow and I was hoping that you could join our team. There's Pratt, me Luka, Abby, Gallant and Deb. However Deb isn't very good and Susan's a sub. We used to have Mark on our team but he passed away.

S: Sure. I'd love to! 

 John and Sara talked for an hour, about everything from aerobics to yoga, which Sara was determined to take John to.

Beep Beep

S: Shit it's weaver, I've been off work for more than an hour. She's going to kill me

The pair paid there bill which Sara insisted on paying and headed towards the ER. Sara worked hard for hours to make up for her earlier absence but at 9.00 went to get ready. James arrived a while later

James: Is Sara ready?

Susan: Yeah, she's getting ready now. Just give her a minute

Sara walked out of the toilets looking sensational. Her makeup was subtle and accentuated her features, her cloths were classy, a pair of fitted red trousers, and a black halter neck top complemented her figure while her accessories were just right. Her head was covered in a red hat, which sat tilted on her head.

Male patient Stan: Honey, those scrubs didn't do you justice

Sara: Cheers Stan

The staff behind the reception area looked at her in awe. 

James: You look beautiful

Sara: Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself.  John, I finished up in curtain 2 and 3 and I've asked Abby to check on the case in exam room 2 for me. Thanks John. Have a nice night

John: Yeah you too. Um… See you in the morning. Take care

Sara: Bye everyone

"Cya"

Sara and James walked out of the ER arm in arm.

Chuni: She's going to turn heads tonight

Susan: With her single I 'm not going to have a sex life

Pratt: See! You can't blame a guy for trying when she first came here

Luka: I sure as hell don't! 

Susan: Don't even think about it Luka, she's a med student

Luka: And?

Susan: And it's not professional.

Luka: So what?

Susan: And she isn't it to guys like you?

Luka: What you mean by that?

Susan: She's a sophisticated 21-year-old

Pratt: She's too much woman for you mate. She wants to be treated like a lady

Luka: You seem to have changed your melody Pratt

Abby: Its tune, not melody

Pratt: Well, let's just say theres more to her than meets the eye


	4. Chapter 4

The following months were a little slow in the ER compared to the festive seasons, not that Carter minded. However he couldn't stop thinking about Sara. She looked amazing in that outfit, actually she looked great no matter what she was wearing. But he realised that nothing could come of it, as she was a Med. student. But in a year or two she wouldn't be a Med. student any more and then there would be nothing wrong with him asking her out. Not that she'd say yes of course. He'd come to notice that there were plenty of guys who had attempted to be with Sara many of whom were better looking than himself, so he very much doubted that anything would come of their relationship. 

However Carter and Sara had become good friends. Sara attended the basketball match and left the opposition in awe after scoring more than 11 times in the first half and assisting her team mates in their own small victories. She was good, actually she was excellent at basketball, almost as good as she was in her studies. Carter was surprised that even after going clubbing the two nights prior to her exam she still managed to retain the top position in her class. She was pretty, clever and had a great personality which was a very rare package to find. 

She'd taken Carter to a yoga class and they had had fun learning new moves such as the "locust". Sara had teased Carter over his stiff physique, while she completed the moves flawlessly. 

Carter had also met Sara's family. Although a bit intimidating at first, he soon learned that J and Tyrese were two really nice guys who loved Sara a lot. 

Carter even met the children that Sara was so besotted over and he understood why. Tara and Will were the most entertaining children he'd ever met. Constantly up to mischief, always fighting, or making noise but they would always stick up for one another if need be. Will and Tara were really good at dancing, and learnt from Sara and Tyrese. J said they reminded him, of Sara and Tyrese when they were younger. Apparently Sara and Ty would rule the dance floors in clubs even though they were underage, win contests and Sara was part of a performing group which consisted of 3 other girls. Sara used to be the lead singer. Carter had tried to get Sara to do a demo but she refused no matter how much Carter pestered her.

Will and Tara had tried to out smart Sara a number of times but found it impossible. According to J, she had made up every excuse in the book, tried out every trick and there was no way on earth they could fool her. Tara and Eric were Omarions children and they lived in Sara's family house with their mum, Lisa, J and J's girlfriend. But Sara had her own apartment, which was 10 minutes away from the hospital and her family house. Her apartment was very nice. She had two spare bedrooms for the kids and Lisa when they would stay around. 

Carter had spent a lot of his free time there, watching movies, talking and eating food that Sara insisted on feeding him because she thought his existing diet of take out was too unhealthy. Susan and Abby often joined them. 

The 3 of them had started a girls club and would insist on going clubbing once a week. Each time they would leave the ER for a club, Sara always looked gorgeous hence Susan and Abby insisted on nicking Sara's cloths and made regular visits to her apartment.

However Carter had also noticed that Pratt and Sara had become very good friends. They would often go to lunch together and talk a lot and he saw a side to Pratt he had never seen before. But then again the only side Carter had ever seen was a cocky side. 


	5. Chapter 5

A sharp ray of sunlight hit Sara's eyes and she awoke from her deep slumber. She smiled as she recalled she had two days off from her hectic schedule in the ER. She got dressed, drank some juice and left to take her morning jog around the park. 

If Susan had seen her, Sara would have to endure a lengthy speech about how her healthy lifestyle annoys the hell out of her. Luckily Susan had to work vampire hours at the ER and was therefore likely to be knocked out in the ER lounge at precisely this moment in time. Sara liked Susan and they'd spent last weekend together along with Abby bingeing on chocolate, shopping for bargains and sharing boyfriend horror stories.  

She'd also found a close friend in Pratt. The cocky intern had become almost like a new brother and he acknowledged that too. He no longer attempted to crack on to Sara, but spoke to her like a sister. He understood what Sara's life is really like, whereas the rest of the ER staff were clueless, not that she wanted them to know. Especially not Carter. He was too caring and would worry too much if he ever found out. Carter was one of the nicest guys she'd ever met. Most guys who met her would have hidden agenda's but he didn't. She enjoyed spending days with him, she felt happy. An emotion that she hadn't felt for a long time. Tyrese had spoken to Sara a few weeks back telling her that she obviously had feelings more than friendship for Carter. She denied it of course thinking he was talking rubbish but as the days rolled by she realised that when they were together he made her feel happy and good about herself. She'd cursed Tyrese for being right. He could always interpret her thoughts even before she could. But she knew that nothing could come of it. Firstly he was her teacher in a way so it would be forbidden. But then again, as of tommorow she'd be an intern so it would be more acceptable. Her internship was to be completed at county. Anyway, secondly, she didn't want to hurt him and she knew she would if they were together. He'd worry about her and try and unload the burden of her past. And lastly he wouldn't want to be with her anyway. She was a friend to him. That was all. Nothing more than a friend.

 A passing neighbour broke Sara's train of thought as he enquired about the "racket no 6 had made last night"

Sara reached home a little while later. She had a bath, relaxing her tired muscles in a sea of bubbles. Once her skin started to wrinkle she got changed and made a start on breakfast when the phone rang.

S: Hello

C: Hey Sara, its John. 

S: Oh hello! I'm just making breakfast. 

C: Oh rite. You making your usual high energy rabbit food?

S: Oi. It isn't rabbit food. 

C: Oh sorry horse food

S: Look Carter, don't take it out on me because your 5 daily cups of coffee and donuts are taking their toll on your physique.

C: Oi! I'm not going to attempt to argue with you. But, I was wondering if you're free today?  

S: Yeah your in luck. It seems Weaver pitied me and gave me 2 days off! So, What did you have in mind?

C: Ice-skating

S: Ice-skating? Feeling a bit adventurous are we?

C: Yep, there's a rink open downtown.

S: Sounds good. However one problem

C: What?

S: I'm rubbish at skating

C: Don't worry. I'm the Micheal Jordan of Ice-skating

S: Somehow I find that hard to believe

C: Look if you want to be left in the middle of the rink, it can be arranged

S: Ok I'm sorry. What time?

C: Well I'll pick you up in about an hour. We are meeting Susan and Pratt there. Abby's working.

S: I've got a better idea. How about I pick you up in an hour?

C: Why? What are you planning?

S: Nothing. See you then. Bye

Sara hung up before Carter could ask any more questions. Sara ate her breakfast, cleaned up a little and got ready. Sara picked up some bottoms, matching hoody and trainers and quickly changed in to them. She put her hair up into a ponytail, picked up her keys and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Sara arrived at Carter's building via motorbike a while later to find him waiting outside. 

It always amazed Carter how even the most casual clothes made her look incredible.

C: Hello. Come on then lets catch the EL, it's going to be there in a few minutes. 

S: We're not taking the EL, you're riding on my bike

C: No way. Those things are dangerous and I don't like you riding on that thing anyway.

S: Carter come on we'll be there in a few minutes, I'm a good driver and we can relive the teenage years you missed out on. Come on please?

Carter knew the result of this case; he'd lose so he gave in grudgingly. 

C: Fine but you've got to ride slowly.

S: It's a deal. Put on the helmet and hold on tight around my waist. Ready?

C: Ready, as I'll ever be

Sara started up her engine and they made there way to the rink with Carter looking very apprehensive throughout the journey. 

Sara and Carter met up with Susan and Pratt at the ice rink. They got their tickets, put on their skates and headed toward to ice rink. 

Sara was holding on the rail and slowly making her way around the rink while Carter was telling her how to move her feet. 

S: I can't believe I let you talk me into this

C: Look, you'll be fine. Just let go of the railing and grab my hand

S: No way

C: Oi, you made me ride on a motorbike! 

S: Yeah that's different.

C: Look, just trust me

Slowly, Sara let go of the railing and held on to Carter's hand.

C: Ok, just one foot at a time and push outwards with the top of your feet. Look your doing it

S: No I'm not

C: Yeah you are. Ok where going to speed it up now. Ready?

Carter and Sara skated around the rink hand in hand. Pratt and Susan looked from the other end of the rink.

S: They look happy

P: Yeah they do

S: I'm surprised you and Sara aren't hanging about together today. 

P: Why?

S: As you two seem to be really close nowadays and I assumed you two would be dating soon.

P: No. She's become like a sister and a close friend to me. There's nothing romantic between us, trust me.

S: Yes! 

P: Why are you so happy? Are you going to crack on to Sara next?

S: Actually I made a bet with the nurses to say you two aren't an item.  I just won 20 bucks.

P: Nice to see my love life is benefiting someone else, as it isn't doing me any favours.

Carter and Sara continued skating until a burly teenager knocked into Sara and both Sara and Carter fell on to the ice floor. 

Both of them were laughing as they got attempted to steady themselves on the slippery floor. 

S: Michael Jordan eh?

C: Even Michael falls on the court.  Anyway are you ok?

S: Yeah I'm fine. You? 

C: Yeah I'm fine. You wanna take a break or keep on skating?

S: I want to carry on. This time without any help.

C: Becoming more confident I see. Hang on wait a minute who've got ice on your cheek

Carter wiped away the wisp of iced water from Sara's cheek as Pratt and Susan glided across the rink to Sara and Carter. Her cheeks were so soft and rosy, almost as soft as a babies. Sara looked up at Carter. They looked into each others eyes until the noisy arrival of Pratt and Susan. By this time, Sara laughed of the moment. 

Pratt: Are you two ok? We saw what happened from the other side of the rink?

Sara: Yeah we're fine, but Carter's ego has been bruised.

Susan: Don't worry it's a regular occurrence each time Mrs Samuel's from geriatrics turns him down for a date 

Carter: Hello I could be in dire need of medical attention and all you two can do is crack jokes at my expense.

Pratt: Are you all right?

Carter: Yeah I was just attention seeking. It went unnoticed I see

Sara: Sorry what was that?

Carter: Ha Ha (sarcastically)

Susan: You going to carry on skating? 

Sara: Yep, just for about 15 more minutes. Come on then Jordan, redeem yourself.

Sara and Carter began skating again. It seemed the fall had made Sara more confidant and she and Carter glided effortlessly side by side on the ice rink while Pratt and Susan watched. In the distance they could hear Sara singing "he was a sk8r boi".


	7. Chapter 7

Susan and Pratt had left Sara and Carter after a meal to go back to the hospital. It seemed that Susan had bribed Luka into taking her vampire shifts while she promised him a date with a good looking friend. 

Sara and Carter were sitting at the park, feeding the birds and talking. Carter enjoyed the regular digs they made at each other; it was like a constant battle to out do each other. He often lost but it didn't matter to him, he was comfortable with her and enjoyed making her smile even if it was at his expense. He loved it when she smiled, she looked so beautiful. He loved it when she talked about something she was passionate about, such as Tara and Will, she'd light up when telling him stories about what had done. No matter how many times she talked about them, John could never get bored and it seemed neither could she. 

As the park cleared up and the guard asked them to leave, slowly the conversation changed again. Sara and Carter got up and made their way back to Sara's apartment, which was only 2 minutes away.

S: Well its been an good day.

C: Yeah the food was nice, as was the company.

S: And the ice-skating. I got to admit I was wary at first but I got there in the end. 

They were outside Sara's apartment.

C: See you're not that bad and I told you you'd be fine

S: Thank you for teaching me

C: What medicine or skating?

S: Both. Honestly John, you're a great teacher and a brilliant friend.

Sara leant in to kiss him on the cheek. __

C: As much as I'd like to stay and capitalise on your good mood, I need to go home and catch up on some beauty sleep.

S; You have to work tomorrow?

C: Yep

S: Say hello to everyone for me!

C: I will. Have a nice night.

S: You too.

Sara and Carter parted after enjoying a perfect day together. 


	8. Chapter 8

Sara hurried in to the ER, bracing herself for a day she knew would be difficult. Kerry shouted the words she dreaded.

Kerry: Sara, Carter needs you, multiple stab and GSW victims coming in. 

Sara: Be right there

Sara went to the lounge, got out her stethoscope and shut her locker. She took a number of deep breaths before she went to the trauma room where Carter had already began working on a young male in his late teenage years. 

Sara glanced at the face of a young man, she knew as Reese, or little R, who looked like he was in agony. Hoping he didn't recognise her while Carter was here she began focusing her attention on his shoulder, which seemed dislocated.

Sara: What have we got?

Carter: Stab wound on his upper leg and a possible dislocation on his right arm. Looks like he won't need surgery.

The patient had began to get aggressive and tried to get out of the bed.

Carter: Look we're trying to help you

Patient:  I don't need you ****** help. Just let me out of here

Carter and Haleh put restraints on him and gave him some medication to calm him down. 

Carter: What so someone can stab you in the other leg? Look just be patient, we're trying to help. You haven't given us your name or age but from what I can tell your too young to be involved in gang warfare.

Patient: You wouldn't understand why I do this. You think we're all the same. That guy, next door has ruined my life.

Carter: So this is revenge?

Patient: No.

Carter: Then what is it?

Patient: Its none of your business

Carter: You must be about 14 or 15. You don't need to live like this

Patient: You wouldn't understand

Carter: Make me understand

As Sara administered some morphine in order to pop his shoulder back into place, Reese looked at her.

Patient: Baby girl?

Sara: Yeah it's me. 

Carter: You know him?

Sara: Yeah I do. He's a friend.

Abby: Carter, they need you to clear this room, there's another trauma coming in.

Carter: Ok, Sara get him a bed.

Sara: Will do.

Sara wheeled Reese in to a spare bed in the curtain area. 

Patient: Listen babygal, you've got to help me. Brianna and Ashley, my sisters are at home and…

Sara: Its all right I've got them covered. No one is gonna come near them I swear to you. They're with J and Ty.

Patient: What about…

Sara: Michael is fine too.

Patient: I got to get out of here

Sara: Your staying here

Patient: Come on, it's only a cut and you've sorted out my shoulder. 

Sara: It's not just a cut, you were stabbed and your shoulder only feels fine because of the morphine. Your not going anywhere. What the hell where you doing there anyway? What do you owe him?

Patient: I got hooked a while back and I need to pay him back.

Sara: Reese, you know what he's like. How much do you owe him?

Patient: Over $300

Sara: oh shit. You clean now though right?

Patient: Yeah. I've been clean for over 3 months

Sara: Just stay here. J and Ty are looking after the girls.

Patient: I'm just scared. I want to protect them.

Sara: You won't be able to in the state your in. Leave it to us.

Patient: If anything happens to them I won't be able to forgive myself.

Sara could see the fear in Reese's eyes. She looked at him. 

Sara: Nothing is going to happen to them. I swear. No matter what happens I'll. look out for them. But you've got to be careful. 

Patient: Thanks baby girl. I knew I could count on you.

Sara hugged Reese as Carter entered the room. 

Sara: Aren't you supposed to be handling the next trauma?

Carter: No, Susan and Luka have got it. I've just come to check how he was doing.

Sara: Ok, I better go. I'll. come and see you later. Don't give Dr Carter a hard time ok? He's a friend of mine.

Patient: I won't.  Thanks for everything. It means a lot to me

Sara: Anytime

Sara left the room while Carter attempted to talk to Reese with no avail.

Sara continued to handle the victims of the fight, there were about 6 in all. It surprised the ER staff how they would respect Sara and not even try and be the slightest bit aggressive towards her. 

Carter: Hey Sara, I tried talking to the boy in 4. He's determined to be known as anonymous. Did he say anything to you?

Sara: Don't worry about him. He'll be fine. 

Carter: I'm just concerned. He's too young to be involved with the big guys.

Sara: Yeah I know. 

Carter: How do you know him, anyway?

Sara: He's a friend of a friend.

Carter: Oh rite

Sara: Look I've got to go, I'll chat to you later.

Carter: Abby, did Sara order a chem panel for anonymous in curtain 3 or anonymous in curtain 6?

Abby: For Richard in curtain 3

Carter: Wow, your on first name basis. How come?

Abby: Sara's help

Carter: Where is she anyway?

Abby: Taking a well deserved break on the roof

Carter: Thanks

Carter took the stairs to the rood, where he'd been up so often to relieve himself of a nicotine urge, or to get away from a hard day in the ER. Carter opened the door to find Sara sitting on a chair with her head in her hands. Carter shut the door and Sara looked up at him, her eyes had faint traces of tears in them.

Carter: Hey you ok? 

Sara rubbed her eyes.

Sara: Yeah, I'm just tired I guess. Do you need me downstairs?

Carter: No. I came upstairs as you haven't put me down once today and I was getting worried. 

Sara smiled faintly. Silence fell between Carter and Sara as she looked straight ahead at a view of Chicago. 

Carter: Sara, are you sure you're ok? You just seem a bit distant.

Sara: No, I'm fine. In fact I better get going. I've got plans with J and Ty tonight.

Carter: Ok  

Sara got up took a look at the view and took the stairs to the ER. Carter followed a few minutes later.

Sara went to say goodbye to Reese. He still looked as scared as ever. Understandable thought Sara, considering the circumstances.

As Sara was leaving the ER, Pratt came over to talk to her.

Pratt: Hey you ok?

Sara: Yeah I'm fine. It's just been stressful today, you know. 

Pratt: Yeah I know

Sara: Do me a favour; look out for Reese in curtain 4 please?

Pratt: Sure thing. Good night.

Sara: Night.

Sara left the ER, while Carter stared after her. She seemed so distant. Had he done something wrong? He hoped not. 

Carter continued to work on his patients but his thoughts were focused on Sara. 


	9. Chapter 9

After Carter's shift, Carter was battling with himself whether he should go and see how Sara was. It was like she'd been avoiding him all day. He kept re running the last few days in his mind to see if he'd done anything wrong but couldn't think of anything except pulling Sara in to a pool after she'd pushed him in. But they'd laughed for hours after that, and she wasn't that petty as to stop talking to him after having a bit of fun. She'd started it anyway. 

Pratt: Hey Carter, you've left your jacket behind

Carter: Oh thanks Pratt. You off now?

Pratt: No. I'm on a break.

Carter: Oh rite

Pratt: You ok? You seem a bit down. Did Mrs Samuels turn you down again?

Carter: Ha Ha (sarcastically). I'm just worried about Sara, she seemed really distant today.

Pratt: Look, don't worry about her, it's nothing personal. She's just having a bad day.

Carter: Why? What did she say?

Pratt: Oh nothing, she just a bit stressed out with the GSW and the double shifts she has to pull

Carter: But she's been able to handle it before

Pratt: You know women, sometimes things get to them more at certain times of the month

Carter: Yeah maybe

Pratt: Anyway I better get going. Chat to you later Carter

Carter: Yeah, see ya

Carter stepped on to the El. When Sara's stop came he stepped off, and walked over to her apartment. Tyrese opened the door.

Tyrese: Hey John. How are you?

Carter: Yeah I'm good. Is Sara in?

Tyrese: Yeah she's out back. Go on through, I was just going.

Carter: Ok, thanks. 

Carter walked through the living room and took a right in to the garden to find Sara clad in sweatpants, a strappy top and boxing gloves hitting a punch bag with more power than Carter himself could manage. She looked up to see Carter. 

Sara: Hey John, I didn't hear you come in.

Sara wiped the beads of sweat on her face.

Carter: Ty let me in before he left.

Sara: Oh rite. Anyway what can I do for you?

Carter: I just came to see if you were ok. You seemed really distant before and I was wondering if anything's wrong. 

Sara: Nah, I'm just fine. I was just tired after a long shift that's all

Carter: And punching the lights out of a bag helps how?

Sara: Relieves stress 

Carter: Ah ha so you admit you're stressed?

Sara: Figure of speech

Carter: Am I ever going to get you to tell me what really wrong or is this just one of our never-ending battles?

Sara: Honestly Carter, nothings wrong. Anyway how was Reese in four when you left?

Carter: Yeah he was fine, just determined not to speak to me. He was asking for you though

Sara: Was he? 

Carter: Yep. But I told him you'd left. 

Sara: Anyway do you want a drink?

Carter: Yeah, what have you got?

Sara: Lemon squash, orange juice 

Carter: Lemon squash please. 

Sara handed Carter the lemon filled glass.

Carter: But it must be hard for him. Getting stabbed and loosing someone in the fight is a hard thing to overcome

Sara: Yeah, poor kid. Did you tell him what happened, to his friend?

Carter: Yeah I did. It was hard. It brought back memories.

Sara: Of what?

Carter: You don't know? I'm surprised one of the gossiping nurses hasn't filled you in yet.

Sara: Filled me in on what?

Carter told Sara about the events that took place on Valentines Day a few years before. Sara was shocked. She didn't know what to say or do. She was even more shocked when she heard about the addiction to narcotics. But she was proud of him also, he'd overcome so much and he never let it get in the way of his future. 

On the other hand, Carter found it easier telling Sara then he thought he would. For once he didn't see that disappointed look upon a face when he'd told them what happened. She just held his hand and squeezed it to let him know that she was listening. That one gesture made all the difference to Carter. 

After he'd finished telling Sara there was a silence between them. Sara was the one to break the silence.

Sara: You don't realise how proud I am of you. Carter I never ever realised that you had been through so much because you never let it show. You've beaten you addiction and you're all the stronger because of it.

Carter: I don't think I'll ever fully beat it. It's always at the back of my mind. I'm always tempted but then I think of everything I have now and I don't want to ever throw it away. 

 Sara: That's how it's supposed to be. You have to be grateful for what you have and only then can you overcome anything.  

Carter: Anyway I better be going. I've got a shift tomorrow as have you I guess.

Sara: Yep I have. I'll see you then

Carter: Actually Sara can I ask you a favour?

Sara: Yeah go for it

Carter: Gamma's having a fundraising dinner at the house next week and I was wondering if you'd like to come, um as my date, just as friends of course. I understand if you don't as in you might be busy and…

Sara: Carter shut up, of course, I'd love to. 

Carter: Ok then, um I'll pick you up here around 7 next week Thursday?

Sara: That's fine. Is anyone else coming from work?

Carter: Yeah, Pratt, Abby, Susan, Deb and Luka

Sara: Ok then

Carter: Ok then, um I better go. 

Sara: Bye Carter.  

Carter left Sara's apartment relieved that she wasn't mad at him and also like a weight had been lifted of his shoulders after telling her about the attack. But most of all he was happy that she had agreed to go to the fundraiser as his date. No he wasn't just happy he was ecstatic. But Carter had to keep in mind that they were going as friends.

Sara was left smiling. She couldn't help it. There was this enormous goofy grin on her face. She was Carter's date. Then the panic set in. What would she wear? Say if Gamma didn't like her? 

Eventually she was brought back to earth with a thud. She had to remind herself that no matter what happened that night, her and Carter couldn't ever be a couple. Their lives were too different. He wouldn't understand why she was obliged to help people whose lives were in danger and whose families would be destroyed if she didn't. He wouldn't understand why she has to fight against people who ruined the lives of so many young people.  She'd been with too many boyfriends who found it hard, watching her come back with J and Ty looking like they'd each just had a round with Tyson. She cared about Carter too much to put him through that. She cared about Carter more than she cared about any other prospective boyfriend she'd ever had. There was always a chance that one day Sara wouldn't be as lucky as she'd always been as to survive and she didn't want Carter to have to go through what Lisa went through, watching Omarion die. That's why they could never be. There wasn't a future.  It wouldn't work.     


	10. Chapter 10

A few days later everything was going fine. Carter had brought a new tux, Gamma ad everything ready and Sara had brought a new dress, and accessories. She couldn't help but use the event as an excuse to buy a new outfit. 

Susan, Abby, Pratt, Deb and Luka had also made there own preparations for the dinner. They had made a pact. They knew it was likely that the night was going to be a boring one and vowed that if it was then they would go and have a few drinks together. 

However two days before the event Sara was feeling really tired and run down. Weaver had taken over a week off to deal with her own personal crisis and Sara had been roistered to take on most of her shifts. Not only that, Sara had gone clubbing a few nights in the week so was already feeling sleep deprived before she had to look after Tara and Will for 2 nights. Tara had been sick so Sara had been up with her most of the night while Lisa their mother had to visit a friend who was in hospital in LA. Completely shattered Sara continued working until the lack of sleep and over exposure to the flu caught up with her at work. Her head was hurting like someone had constantly hit it with a baseball bat while her body felt like she was on fire. Her stomach wasn't doing her any favours as it was sporadically threatening to empty out its contents as well as causing a dull pain to cause riot in her gut. 

Sara was filling in charts in the lounge when Carter came to ask her about a patient. 

Carter: Hey Sara, do you know where Mr Richards in 3 left his belongings? He's convinced that one of the nurses has stolen his bag?

Sara: Um... Aaachoo

Carter: Hey you ok? 

Sara: Yeah I'm fine. It's just a cold

Carter placed his hand on her forehead before she pulled away.

Carter: You're burning up.

Sara: I'm fine. Tell Mr Richards that the nurse was his wife and she's waiting for him in the car

Carter: I will but…

Before he could finish his sentence Sara rushed out of the lounge and into the ladies toilets with her hand over her mouth ready to greet last nights dinner.

Carter followed her.

Pratt: What's wrong with Sara?

Carter: She isn't well 

Pratt: Oh rite. Are you going in to the ladies room to check on her?

Carter: Yep

Pratt: Brave man

Carter walked in to find all the toilets empty except the one, which he could hear, Sara in. The door was locked.

Carter: Sara open the door it's me. 

Sara reluctantly opened the door before another movement from her stomach forced her to turn her face toward the porcelain toilet seat. Carter got down on his knees, got some tissue paper, held her hair back and rubbed her back while the acidic taste of eaten food brushed passed her tongue.

Once she was done, Carter passed her some tissue which she cleaned herself up with before facing Carter.

Carter: You ok?

Sara: Yeah. Thanks for coming.

Carter: Anytime. I just wanted to make sure your ok.

Sara walked over to the sink and washed her face while Carter stared at her with a look of concern upon his face.

Sara: Nah, I bet you used me as an excuse to get an insight into the ladies room. Except you got an insight into what I had for dinner last night.

Carter: Thank you for that.

Sara: Anytime! I better get back to work anyway and so should you before Romano catches you in here

Carter: Unless they made a mistake on his birth certificate I don't think he'll be found in here and anyway you are not going back to work, you're going home

Sara: I'm fine, it's just a bug. It will pass

Carter: You need to rest. 

Sara walked out of the ladies room in to the reception area as Carter followed. 

Sara: Carter, honestly I'm fine. It's nothing that a warm coffee can't fix

Carter: I'm not taking no for an answer, you're going home and I'm going to take you. I'm getting off in 10 minutes and Gallant is going to cover your shift aren't you Gallant? 

Gallant: Yeah (enthusiastically) What am I doing? (to Abby in an undertone)

Abby: Covering her shift

Gallant: Oh

Sara: Stop fussing

Carter placed his hand on her forehead again before she pulled away again.

Carter: I'm not fussing. You're being stubborn. You're burning up.

Sara: I'm not stubborn. 

Carter: You're proving my point. Haleh get me a thermometer please

Haleh: Here

Carter carefully placed the thermometer in to Sara's ear. Beep 

Carter: 102. Susan can you cover the last 10 minutes of my shift. I'm taking her home, right now

Susan: Ok, take care of her Carter; we need her to entertain us at your grandmother's dinner. 

Carter: It won't be that bad! But yeah I'll look after her. 

Carter took Sara in to the lounge.

Sara: Ok I'll go but you don't need to take me.

Carter: I've got my car and its raining outside. It makes sense. 

Carter turned the dial on Sara's locker and got out her coat for her.

Sara: How did you know my locker combo? Actually don't tell me, apart from being annoying, breaking and entering is another one of your hidden talents!

Carter put away his stethoscope and put on his own coat.

Carter: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway come on then.

Sara and Carter waved the ER team goodbye while Sara sat in the passenger seat on Carters car.

The journey was a silent one and Sara was sitting there determined not to talk to Carter. As they travelled Carter couldn't help but laugh. Sara gave him an evil look; Carter thought it resembled the look of a 6 year old patient who he told he would have to spend the night in the ER. He decided to break the ice.

Carter: They always say, Doctors make the worst patients. I'm starting to agree with that statement.

Sara: I'm not even that ill. I would have been fine.

Carter: The way you were going you would have passed out in the ER.

Sara: I wouldn't have. I just needed a couple of hours sleep in the lounge.

Carter: All you'd get is a couple of minutes before a trauma comes in and a nurse wakes you up.

Sara: Maybe, but I hate being at home when I'm ill. I just lie there bored and feeling Shiite.

Carter: I won't let you get bored, and you're not going to feel Shiite once you get a few hours sleep. 

Carter stopped outside Sara's apartment and climbed out of the four by four and headed toward her apartment with Carter following close by.

Carter: Do you feel like having anything to eat?

Sara: No, not yet, but feel free to help yourself. I still feel like my stomach's not settled. I'm going to get changed, I feel like I'm burning in this top.

Carter: No I'm all right at the moment too.

Sara headed towards her bedroom and got changed in to her nightwear, which consisted of a T-shirt and a thin pair of joggers.

But as soon as she headed in to the living room she felt she was going to puke again and ran in to her bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. Carter interpreted the signals and followed her in to the bathroom. Almost like De ja vu, (minus the unclean floor) Carter was down on his knees rubbing Sara's back and holding her hair. Once she finished she sat on the floor feeling exhausted. Carter looked at her with a worried look on his face. She looked quite weak. He handed her some tissue. 

Carter: You ok?  

Sara: Yeah. Ow (clutching her stomach)

Carter: Hey, you ok? Your stomach hurts?

Sara: It's just a dull pain every now and again. Don't worry about it. I stretched it yesterday training

Carter: Are you that's all it is?

Sara: Yeah positive (she lied)

Carter: Ok then, first things first, bed. 

Carter picked Sara up gently and carried her to her bedroom and sat her on the bed. 

Sara felt so comfortable, almost like she could sleep in his arms as she rested her head against his chest. She knew he cared about her, just by looking at his eyes and seeing the concern, even by the gentle way he touched her and the constant question asking. Normally Sara would be totally pissed off with all the fuss but for once she wasn't. She was glad he was here.

Once on the bed, Carter wrapped the sheets around her and gave her some medicine to help lower her temperature. As soon as she rested her head against the pillow, Sara was asleep. She was totally exhausted.

Carter watched her as she slept. He swore that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen she looked like an angel and just had a glow surrounding her. Stray hairs hung around her eyes; Carter gently moved them with his thumb and kissed her on the cheek. He pulled the covers over her, shut the blinds and set himself up a base in a spare bedroom. He found some spare cloths of Ty in the closet and Sara had told him where he'd find a spare toothbrush. He got changed and laid in bed staring at the ceiling feeling happy. He decided that he had to ask Sara out on a date. It was eating him up inside just watching her, wanting her to be his, not being able to pull her in to an embrace that signified the intensity of his love for her. But he wanted to know if she felt the same way. After a few minutes, Carter too fell asleep. 


	11. Chapter 11

In the early hours of the morning Carter awoke to check on Sara. He walked in to her bedroom careful not to wake her and gently placed his hand on her cheek. She'd cooled down thank god. But Sara stirred and looked at Carter.

Carter: Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you

Sara: It's all right. What time is it?

Carter: It's about 3.30 in the morning. You feeling any better?

Sara: Yeah loads better thank you. 

Carter: I know it's early but you feeling up to some chicken soup? I'm cooking

Sara: I think I can manage that. You want a hand?

Carter: No, just relax. How's your stomach? It's stopped hurting?

Sara: Yeah (she lied). It's better now.

Carter: Ok, then just give me a minute. 

Carter began making his famous soup. Actually it was what he survived off in his med. school years when he was too shattered to cook anything that took longer than 10 minutes to make. He got 2 trays, one for Sara, and one for himself, some water, the soup and 2 slices of bread and headed towards Sara's bedroom.

Sara: Smells nice

Carter: Yeah, it's the only decent thing I know how to make, except pasta and ready made stuff. I burn everything else.  

Sara:  I'm going to have to teach you how to cook

Carter handed Sara the tray and a tissue while he sat down on the other side of the double bed. 

Carter: Good luck with that. I'm as rubbish a student as you are a patient

Carter began eating before Sara hit him with a pillow.

Sara: Oi. 

Carter: Watch it

Sara: Actually, you're right.  I'm sorry about before, I just hate being ill and I often take it out on other people. J used to say, I was worse as a kid, but I can't see how. Anyway this is good.

Carter: Thank you.

Sara: I'm going to have to taste the pasta you make now

Carter: It's an ancient recipe, handed down from generation to generation.

Sara: Really?

Carter: No, I copied it off the back of the pasta packet. 

Sara: You're hopeless.

Carter: No I'm not. See I promised you; you wouldn't feel Shiite or be bored.

Sara: Thanks Carter, for everything

Carter: All part of the job description

Sara: I don't see how witnessing the remains of eaten food being hurled into a toilet is part of the job description of a friend

Carter: You love mentioning that don't you, especially while I'm eating.

Sara: Yeah, it gives me some sick pleasure.

Carter: I bet it does. You finished?

Sara: Yeah

Sara handed Carter the tray. Carter started to laugh.

Sara: What?

Carter: You've got a bit of soup on your nose

Sara: Where?

With the aid of a tissue, Carter wiped away the remains of the soup. As he did so Sara and Carter's eyes met. It was a timeless moment, one of acknowledgement, where both of them realised how the other felt, by the way they stared at each other. There was connection between them, a realisation or a passing of information. It was almost as if everything was falling in to place. Like a domino effect, a starting point for an embrace to progress from. But before anything could happen Sara's thoughts over ruled what she was feeling in her heart and she coughed and pulled away.

Sara: Um, thanks Carter. I think I'd better get some sleep. Thanks again, night.

Carter: Ok then, um, I'll see you in the morning.

Sara rested her head against the pillow but found it much more difficult to go to sleep this time. A battle was raging inside of her, not only of her immune system beating the flu virus but between her heart and her thoughts.

Carter left the room feeling confused. He felt sure that he'd felt something between them in her room. He thought that she felt the same way about her as she did him. But she pulled away. Carter thought of an explanation for it. Maybe he was just imagining a "moment" back there, maybe she genuinely felt tired. He didn't know what to think. All he knew is that he had a shift tomorrow and he was tired. He put the dishes in the sink, thinking that he'd wash them the next morning and headed towards the spare room to go to sleep.         


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning Sara awoke to find a note from Carter left on her bedside table.

"Hey Sara, I hope you feeling better. I didn't want to wake you but I told Weaver that your ill and you wouldn't be coming in today. I had to go to work. Call me if you need anything. Carter"

Sara stared at the note as she recalled the events of the night before. She slumped on the pillows and stared at the ceiling trying to convince herself that she'd done the right thing. The look on Carter's face as she pulled away, kept re running in her mind. He looked hurt almost shocked. She felt so miserable. But her mind kept repeating that she'd done the right thing, she wasn't going to lead him on or hurt him. There wasn't a future so what was the point. But it wasn't that simple and she knew it.

In a feeble attempt to forget about Carter, Sara got up from the comfort of her bed and headed toward the bathroom to perform her morning ritual. She had to admit she was feeling a lot better physically than she had yesterday. Her head wasn't hurting anymore and her temperature was just a little above normal. She didn't feel like she was going to puke either. Carter's soup had done the trick. Her stomach on the other hand was still throbbing a bit, but that wasn't related to her illness.   

Once dressed, Sara decided to eat a light breakfast before going for a walk. A run was out of the question. 

While Sara was walking the streets of Chicago, Carter was engaging himself in a hard day's work in the ER in order to compensate for Sara's absence. He too kept thinking of the events of the night before. He'd come to the conclusion that he had just imagined the "moment" and that she was genuinely tired. After all he'd spent almost a year wanting her, that he was sure his mind was playing tricks on him. But he couldn't shake of the gut feeling that something had happened between them yesterday. 

Susan: Oi, will you stop daydreaming about taking Sara to the dinner tomorrow night and come and help me with a trauma. There's been a fire near the shoes place, and 3 people have been hurt. 

Carter: Yeah I'm coming

Susan: How is Sara anyway? Feeling better?

Carter: Well this morning her temperature was down but she was sleeping so I don't know for sure.

Susan: I saw what she's wearing tomorrow, its gorgeous, trust me, your one lucky man. 

Carter: I know. Anyway stop gossiping and help me with this trauma

Susan: Oi

After that Carter was busy working on the burns victims although he couldn't help but wonder what she'd look like tomorrow night.

During his break Carter decided to call her and ask her how she was doing, but to his surprise she wasn't at home. Trust her, he thought, to be out training when she's ill. I'll never understand why she pushes herself so hard to be fit.

Meanwhile Sara decided to visit Ty and J. She hadn't seen them for a few days and she felt like it had been ages ago since her and Ty had had that pillow fight.

She knocked on the door. 

Ty: Hey babygal.

Sara hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Sara: Hey Ty. You're not busy at you?

Ty: Nope. I've got today off. How you doing? 

Sara walked in to the living room and collapsed on the sofa. No matter how expensive her own couch was, nothing could beat the comfort of the sofa where she'd spent most of her life lounging around on.

Sara: Yeah I'm good, just recovering from a few nights of Tara and Will… I saw Tania yesterday, how are you two going?

Ty: We're good. I'm glad you two get on. She likes you.

Sara: Well I like her too. She came around mine last week. We ended up watching old videos of me and you doing one of our performances.

Ty: Well when you and Carter finally get together, I'll return the favour and pull out the pictures of you dressed for the 70's revival night.

Sara: I didn't look that bad and anyway he's just a friend.

Ty: A friend that you're madly in love with and he obviously has feelings for you so why don't you two just bite the bullet and go out to dinner.

Sara: Because I don't like him like that

Ty: Yeah and I'm the King of Egypt

Sara: Will you stop it! (Chucking a pillow at him) Anyway, James phoned me on my way here, a guy down there owes Q a lot of money and he can't find funds. His family are in downtown Chicago. Which means there's going to be war down here in the next few days. 

Ty: Yeah he phoned me this morning. My guess is by Friday trouble will reach its peak.

Sara: That's what I thought.

Sara and Ty stared at each other with the same expressions on their faces. They had grown up around feuding gangs to know what this could lead to and what this could mean for them. 

Sara: Anyway, J told me what he's planning to do.

Ty: What the proposal?

Sara: Yep. I think its great! They look so good together and it's the first time that J has been truly happy in ages. In the past, while we were growing up he always put us first. And now he's finally found a woman who is right for him. When is he going to do it?

Ty: Well he's taking her out on Friday night. I didn't tell him what James had said. I don't want him to fight.

Sara: Neither do I. He's an easy target.

Ty: Your completing your internship so I don't think you should come either.

Sara: I can always make up the shifts I've missed. I'll ask Weaver tonight if I can have Friday off.  Considering she just took a week off I don't see how she can say no. And if you think I'm letting you go into this alone you've got another thing coming. We've got each others backs remember. 

Ty: Yeah I know.

Sara: Anyway, what restaurant has J booked to pop the question in?

Ty: Well somewhere in the outskirts of Chicago, so he'll be a long way away from the action. Also, he's booked out a hotel for the night for them both.

Sara: I hope she says yes.

Ty: She will. Trust me, she found the ring under his dresser and she told me she's going to say yes. He was never good at hiding things, especially from us.

Sara: Now I'm seriously happy.

Sara got up and slumped herself against Ty. She loved doing that ever since she was little, he was so comfy to lean on, but then she remembered how she felt against Carter the night before.

Ty: You ok? 

Sara: Yeah. Do you want to do a quick training session now? 

Ty: Yeah. I'm in pretty good shape so you going to have to work hard to beat me. 

Sara and Ty began training. It was a helpful distraction for Sara and she had fun. It was almost like they were kids again as they play fought, chucked pillows at each other, and competed against one another. She loved that about Ty. They could always have fun, talk and be silly and not really care what the other one thought. They would give their lives for each other at the drop of a hat and they both knew it. 

About an hour or two later Sara decided it was time to head home. She felt exhausted.

Ty: You going already?

Sara: Yep. 

Ty: What are you doing tomorrow night? Because I thought maybe we could just spend a night with J, you know chilling out to distract him from the big day.

Sara: I have plans but maybe I could spend the night here tomorrow and we can just mess about like old times.

Ty: Plans? With whom?

Sara: With Carter, it's his Grandmothers charity ball thing and we're going together as FRIENDS

Ty looked at her with a grin on his face.

Sara: What are you grinning about?

Ty: Nothing

Sara: Look, we are going as friends, I swear.

Ty: Uh huh

Sara: Will you stop being so annoying

Ty: I didn't even say anything

Sara: But I know what you're thinking

Ty: I wasn't thinking anything. Have fun, tomorrow. Make sure you look good for your man.

Sara: You know what I'm just going to go, I'll speak to you tomorrow.

Ty: Ok, see you then.

Sara shut the door and walked back to her apartment.

Ty watched her from the porch and a smiled. She was always so easy to wind up. He knew she liked Carter and nothing would please him more than to see his sister settle down with a decent guy like Carter. Ty could always read Sara like a book and no matter how many times she denied her own feelings, Ty knew the truth. But he knew that ever since Omarion died she had held back from getting into a serious relationship. He understood why. But he also knew that Sara deserved to be happy more than anyone he knew. She was so kind and caring and had always put other people before herself. All he wished is that tomorrow night, her and Carter would get together and that his sister would finally be truly happy.  


	13. Chapter 13

The following day Sara went to work. Carter had called her the night before to see was. She had thanked him for his help before engaging in a friendly conversation where they both spoke about the ER staff and how she would be sucked back in to the ER vortex.

Once at work, Sara second nature kicked in and she went through a total of 18 patients. She had asked Weaver, who had conveniently returned to work, for Friday and the weekend off just in case. She had granted Sara the days off but wasn't very happy about it. 

Once it hit 5.30 Sara headed home to get ready. She hadn't seen Carter all day as he was assisting Gamma with the preparations. 

Lisa had come over to help Sara get ready. She had put her hair up and had a flower in her hair to match her dress. Her dress was gorgeous and complemented her figure. The accessories, which were a necklace, a bracelet and a pair of earrings, hung elegantly on the corresponding body parts.     

Carter too was getting ready; he'd brought a new tux and a new pair of shoes. His mind however was not focused on doing his shirt up properly (which looked lop sided due to getting the buttons in the wrong holes) but was on how Sara would look. He had seen her go clubbing and in scrubs but had never seen her in a dress. But he knew that he wouldn't be disappointed. 

At 6.30 Carter arrived at Sara's apartment. He was early. He decided to drive around for about 15 minutes but the suspense was killing him so he gave up and at quarter to 7 knocked on Sara's apartment to find Lisa opening the door.

Lisa: Hey Carter. You look really nice

Carter: Thank you. Is Sara ready?

Lisa: Yeah, She'll be down in a minute. Would you like a drink?

Carter: No thanks

Lisa: So what charity is the money going to? (a tactful distraction)

Carter: Oh, um… it's for a cancer charity

Lisa: Oh rite. Um…I'll just go and get Sara. 

Lisa ran up the stairs while Carter fumbled with his fingers and tried to distract himself by staring at the pictures on the shelves. About 2 minutes later Lisa came downstairs.

Lisa: She's just coming. 

Carter and Lisa headed toward the staircase as Sara descended it. Carter looked up at her. She looked gorgeous. He never thought she would look this stunning and felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

Carter: Sara…you look gorgeous.

Sara gave him a peck on the cheek.

Sara: You're looking very nice yourself.

Carter felt like a hormonal teenager as a surge of emotions caused a sea of butterflies to wreak havoc in his stomach.

Carter: We better get going.

Sara: Ok then. Thanks Lisa for everything

Lisa: Your welcome. Have a nice night

Carter: Yeah you too.

Carter and Sara left the apartment and made their way to the venue. 

Once they arrived, Carter noticed that the majority of the male population were staring at him in envy. He had the most beautiful date there and Carter was happily basking in the glory. 

After they entered the beautifully lighten room Carter introduced Sara to Gamma who was stationed near the door welcoming her guests. Carter could tell that Gamma liked Sara by the way she spoke to her. 

A few minutes later the rest of the ER gang walked through the double doors and joined Carter and Sara and a table near the back of the hall. Susan, Abby and Deb looked gorgeous. Sara had joked that they had put in the effort in order to get dates with some of Chicago's richest bachelors. 

On the other hand Pratt and Luka were looking around the room to find an unattached female as their prey for the night. 

The night was as promised, a boring one, full of speeches, and cheque giving. However, once the food arrived no one seemed to care as they tucked into a delicious meal. 

Carter however was distracted from the boredom of the night by Sara. He felt so lucky to have her as his date and was determined to make the night as entertaining as possible for Sara and hence he kept talking to her through speeches which in turn resulted in him receiving a number of dirty looks from the guests. 

Sara was actually enjoying the night. It was nice to have a change of scenery rather than just going out to a restaurant or clubbing. The room and Carter were helpful distractions from the droning voice of one of Carter's family friends talking about the generosity of the Carter family.  

As much as she tried to cover it up, Sara had to admit that Carter did look extremely cute tonight in his tux. He was a gentleman the whole night, opening doors, getting her drinks and introducing her to his family. 

A few minutes after dinner finished, the music started and couples began to approach the dance floor. Carter was just about to ask Sara to ask when Pratt got there first.

Pratt: Sara, would you do me the pleasure dancing with me?

Sara looked at Carter who cleverly hid his disappointment and nodded for her to go and "enjoy herself".

Sara: I think hanging out with me has had a positive effect on the way you address women.

Pratt: Ha ha. (Sarcastically)

Sara handed him her hand and they headed towards the dance floor as the music brought back to Sara the ballroom dancing lessons she had to take in high school.

Once the song was over Sara headed back to the table quickly before she was asked again to dance. She sat next to Carter and sipped her glass of orange juice. She never did acquire a taste for wine.

Carter stared at Sara, contemplating whether to ask her or not. He finally gathered his courage. 

Carter: Sara, would you like to dance?

Sara: Yes of course I would.

Sara and Carter headed towards the dance floor. The lights dimmed low and Sara's heart jolted at the thought of dancing with Carter. But as the music came up, and Sara recognised the song as the instrumental version of "someone to love you" by Ruff Ends, Sara's relaxed a little and just went with the flow. 

Carter placed his hands on Sara's waist, while Sara wrapped her arms around his neck. It wasn't traditional but no one cared. They both moved in time with the music and each other. The light reflected off the embroidery in Sara's dress and the smell of Carter's after-shave was intoxicating.  

Sara rested her head against Carter. Nothing had ever felt so right in her life. Sara closed her eyes and Carter too felt at ease. 

The coda of the music came and Sara looked up toward Carter. Their eyes linked like they had done before. Except this time the pull was stronger. Sara's heart was winning the battle over her thoughts. Carter realised that the moment in Sara's apartment was not a figment of his imagination. Their faces came closer together until finally their lips met in an embrace that had threatened to happen before. The kiss was soft yet passionate, gentle but yet it said all that they both had wanted to say for weeks. Until finally, Sara realised what she was doing and pulled away.  

The sudden movement of Sara confused Carter. Sara looked into his eyes shocked at herself for what she'd just done. She quickly walked back toward the table picked up her bag and left the room. Carter began to follow her in order to talk to her until Gamma called him for help. Carter had no choice but to stay. 

Sara ran out of the double doors and down the street. She ran out of the building down the road to a corner where she knew it as safe yet nobody would disturb her. She fumbled in her bag and got out her phone and rang a cab.

Sara told the operator the directions to her location. She kept the conversation as short as possible and kept looking around for a sign of Carter. 

Before she could dwell on things any further, she noticed a cab pull up and she got inside quietly.

She directed the cab driver to her apartment after which she paid him and entered her apartment. She rang Ty to tell him she couldn't make it tonight and that she'd see him tomorrow. She made herself some cocoa, got changed and sat in front of the T.V watching stand up comedy acts. None of them helped her mood much. 

She felt awful. Why had she run out like that? She was such a drama queen. She felt like she was playing with Carter's mind and he probably thought she was angry with him when in fact she wasn't, she with her lack of self control. But it was for the best, at least now he would know that she didn't want it to progress any further. Looking rather sullen, Sara fell asleep on the couch a few hours later.

Meanwhile, Carter helped Gamma with paying the next band who insisted on money straight away. He dealt with it quickly and wanted to go and find Sara. He didn't know what happened. He felt both happy and confused at the same time. Firstly he knew she felt the same way from the passion in the kiss. But then again he didn't understand why she left. Had he done something to upset her? But she had kissed him back. Carter began walking toward the doors when Susan caught up with him.

Susan: Carter where's Sara? We saw what happened

Carter: I haven't got a clue. She just ran out. I'm going to look for her.

Susan: Did you do anything?

Carter: What do you mean? We kissed but she kissed me back. 

Susan: Maybe she was a little tipsy?

Carter: She doesn't drink

Susan: Maybe she's just feeling a little confused

Carter: Yeah maybe. I'm going to find her.

Susan: I'll come with you 

Carter and Susan quickly exited the ball and began to search every street nearby.  Pratt and Abby soon joined them while Deb was looking after a rather tipsy Luka.

After 20 minutes of searching they gave up, which left Carter feeling a bit empty. A while later the ball ended and Carter gloomily joined Gamma in order to thank the guests for their support. 

Once Carter left the ball, he headed home still engrossed in deep thought about the events of the night. He picked up his phone and punched Sara's number into the handset. He needed some answers. He wasn't angry, just confused. Confused why she ran away when she knew that they could have something special together and when she knew that their feelings for each other were mutual. 

The phone began to ring until it reached Sara's answer phone. Carter left a message along the lines of:

"Sara, look we need to talk. Give me a ring when you get this message"

Carter hung up. Then an overwhelming sense of worry over took him. She had left over an hour and a half ago and she still hadn't got home.  Say if she was attacked or hurt? He didn't know what to do.  But say if she is at home but just isn't answering? She might be mad at him?

Carter phoned about 4 times over the next 2 hours, he paged her and even text her but he didn't get a reply. He finally picked up his phone and found Ty's number and rang him.

Ty: Hello

Carter: Hey Ty, its John here. Um. I'm sorry to ring so late, but do you know where Sara is?  I can't get hold of her. I've paged her, text her and even rang her and she isn't replying.

Ty:  Um… she just rang me a minute ago and said she's at home and couldn't make it here tonight

Carter: Oh rite (Relieved)

Ty: Didn't you two have a charity ball to go to?

Carter: Yeah we did but it ended early 

Ty: And you didn't give her a lift home?

(Thinking quickly) Carter: She took a cab home, as I had to stay and finish up

Ty: Oh rite. I'll tell Sara to ring you when I see her tomorrow. 

Carter: Thanks

Carter hung up feeling relieved. 

He decided to go to bed, he had an early shift the next day, but he had a hard time going to sleep. He kept on thinking about the kiss. It was perfect. At the time he thought all his wishes had come true but then she ran away. Unanswered questions plagued Carter's mind until he finally dropped off to sleep some 3 hours later.


	14. Chapter 14

Sara awoke early the next morning, got dressed and checked her phone to find over 4 messages left by Carter commanding her to call him. A slight twang of guilt hit Sara's as she realised that he was worried about her and that he must be feeling lousy too. That wasn't her intention.  She was inclined to pick up the receiver before she realised that if she rang then they would need to have a serious talk, which was something she couldn't do today. So she picked up her keys and left her apartment to meet J to wish him luck with his proposal and to head off with Ty in to the mean streets of Chicago.


	15. Chapter 15

Carter was awoken by his high-pitched alarm clock squealing in his left ear. He got up lazily and got ready for a gruelling 12-hour shift in the ER. Once ready, Carter checked his messages, hoping from one from Sara.

"You have no new messages"

Carter's face fell. But before he had time to think about the situation any further his pager alerted him about a 911 emergency in the ER. He grabbed his keys and headed to the ER. At least he would see her at work where she couldn't avoid him, and they'd be forced to communicate he thought.

Carter worked on a family who had been knocked over by a drunk driver for over 2 hours. He had sent up the father to the OR and the children were recuperating in the solace of the children's ward. 

Carter headed over to the reception desk to look for Sara. She wasn't any where to be seen.

Carter: Has Sara come in yet?

Pratt:  Nope. She's taken 3 days off

Carter: What? Why?

Pratt: Oh, she's gone away for a few days. She's likely to be back by Monday

Carter: She never told me about it. Has she spoken to you?

Pratt: um…she called me about an hour ago and told me

Carter: Oh rite

Pratt: Look don't worry about it. It probably just slipped her mind to tell you

Carter: It's a bit sudden isn't it? To just up and leave.

Pratt: She asked Weaver for days off work yesterday.

Susan: Carter I need you, partial thickness burns victim coming in

Carter: Ok I'm coming. Thanks Pratt. Jerry if she calls, let me know as soon as possible.

Jerry: Will do

Carter joined Susan in the ambulance bay waiting for the victim while the reception staff began hunting for gossip.

Haleh: What happened last night? I heard Sara that she slapped Carter

Chuni: I heard that Sara ran out on Carter in front of everybody.

Pratt: No, she walked out on him and no one was really watching. 

Chuni: Why? I thought they were finally getting it together, they've liked each other for ages.

Haleh: Well it seems that the affection is one sided

Pratt: No, she likes him to. Wait till Monday. They need to sort this out amongst themselves.

Haleh: Ten bucks she tells him she never wants to see him again

Chuni: You're on

Pratt walked over to the lounge and thought to himself, "baby gal, where ever you are, I just hope your ok"


	16. Chapter 16

Friday, Saturday and finally Sunday slowly dragged past. Carter still hadn't heard from Sara and was getting quite annoyed now. He felt that she was punishing him for a crime he hadn't committed. His confusion had reached its peak, as had his frustration at not being able to contact her. He had text her twice but had got no reply. Susan had tried to cheer Carter up over the days but her attempts were not successful. Most of the ER staff noticed his disappointment and Pratt was trying extra hard to make him feel better. Many of the staff had noticed this and were taken aback.

Sara on the other hand was sitting in Ty's apartment on Sunday evening. They had just come back two hours ago to an empty house. 

Ty was changing his bandages. He had a cut on his leg, a couple of bruises on his stomach and a bruised arm.

 Sara was sitting on the couch, trying to stop the cut under her eye from bleeding. She didn't look too bad. Apart from the old strain from her stomach, the cut under her eye and the cut on her arm she was looking and feeling quite good considering. 

Ty however had noticed that Sara had been checking her phone a lot over the days and often caught her day dreaming.    

Ty: So how was your date with Carter?

Sara: Yeah it's was ok

Ty: Just ok? How come you didn't stay and help afterwards, he called to ask where you were. 

Sara: I wanted to come and see you and J but then I felt too tired.

Ty: As flattering as that sounds we both know that's not the truth. What happened?

Sara: It's Carter. We were dancing and we kissed each other.

Ty: And that's bad because?

Sara: Because it shouldn't have happened.

Ty: Sara, it looks like it was meant to happen. You two have been pussy footing around each other for weeks and now finally you both know you feel the same way about each other. Now you can finally go out on a proper date.

Sara: No, we can't

Ty: Why not? Sara you've got a right to be happy

Sara: I know, but say if I hurt him

Ty: Why would you hurt him?

Sara: Because I would

Ty: No you wouldn't. You love him, and you don't hurt the people you love. Just ask him out

Sara:  No

Ty: Why? Give me one reason why you two can't be together?

Sara: Because I don't want him to end up like Lisa did.

Ty: What?

Sara: I do what I do, and it has risks which means that if the worst happens then it's the ones who love you who suffer, just like Lisa did when Omarion died.

Ty: You're not Omarion and you're not going to end up like Omarion

Sara: I nearly did once and there's a chance it could happen. Look at Lisa, she lost the one person who she loved and it nearly destroyed her. If Carter and me get together and something happens to me then he wouldn't be able to handle because he would be in love with me. 

Ty: It sounds to me like he's already in love with you… So the way you put it you should forever hold back from people getting close to you so that if the worst happens then they won't get hurt?

Sara: It's not like that

Ty: That's how it sounds to me

Sara: And anyway he'd try and stop me from going to help those people

Ty: Only because he cares. 

Sara: He wouldn't be able to handle it

Ty: Have you given him the chance to handle it?

Sara looked at Ty with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Sara: This is hard for me too you know?

Ty: I know it is. But you've got to stop asking yourself "what if" and "should I" and just go and do it. That's what Omarion would have wanted.  Phone him tonight.

Sara: Look not tonight. I'm tired and I need to look like I haven't just come out of a boxing ring.

Ty: All right, fair enough. But Sara honestly, be happy. Give you and Carter a go.

Sara took a deep breathe and gave Ty a meaningful look before a fresh surge of blood erupted from her cut. 

Sara went to bed a few hours later, not that she slept of course. She was lying awake half the night thinking of what to do and say to Carter tomorrow. Her thoughts were whizzing around in her head over their speed limit. Different scenarios, talks and memories sprang to mind, some happy and some sad. 

Before she finally fell asleep, Sara finally made up her mind what to do. It would be hard but it had to be done. 


	17. Authors note

Sorry for the wait- I dunno if u think its worth it coz I definitely dont! I tried to write the next 2 chapters- but its been hard! The story is a bit OTT I know! Well if you do enjoy it then good- if you don't I'm not surprised! I'll try again with the next couple of chapters but there may be a long wait because I'm back at school now! 


	18. Chapter 17

Monday finally arrived and Carter couldn't help but think about the fact the Sara would be back today. He tried to take his mind of it by filling up his time completing charts, and looking after patients but of course the distraction wasn't as successful as he had hoped. Carter had been planning exactly what he would say to Sara when he saw her. He would let her know how angry he was, how frustrated and confused he had been feeling. His thoughts were often cut short by the arrival of a patient.

Pratt: Jerry has Sara come in yet?

Jerry: For the 7th time today, no she hasn't, she must be running late.

Pratt: But she's over an hour late. Has she phoned?

Jerry: No, and don't remind Weaver that Sara's late, she's already got a bee in her bonnet

Pratt: Thanks for the advice. Just let me…

Jerry: no when Sara gets here, yeah I know. I'm sort of missing Sara too, it's quiet without her trying to coax me in to joining a yoga programme.

Pratt: Carter went with her once. He didn't think it was that bad. Carter what you think about Jerry joining Yoga with Sara?

Carter: Yeah I went with her once, it was fun. (smiling to himself)

Susan: I think Aerobics would suit Jerry better

Pratt: Somehow, Jerry in spandex doesn't appeal to me. Anyway I better get back to work. Let me know when Sara gets in.

Half an hour later Sara ran through the ambulance bay in to the ER. Pratt saw her while he was talking to Deb, and quickly ran out through the double doors to meet her.

Pratt: Baby gal!

Pratt gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek.

Sara: Hey G

Pratt: I've been ringing you for days and you didn't reply and I hadn't heard anything… Are you all right?

Sara: Pratt, I'm fine honestly. I wish I could have phoned you but you know how it is.

Pratt: Yeah I know. Is Ty all right? 

Sara: Yeah he's fine

Pratt: What about you? Are you sure your all right?

Pratt was staring at the nasty cut under Sara's eye.

Sara: Apart from a few cuts and bruises I'm good. Look, we've got an audience, and I better get inside before Weaver catches me wasting anymore time.

Sara headed through the double doors with Pratt while the ER staff who were intently staring at her a few minutes before began making it look like they were busy before a uproar of welcomes engulfed the reception area.

Chuni: Hey Sara

Sara: Hey Chuni. How you doing?

Chuni: Yeah I'm good. What happened to you eye?

Sara: A sharp object that wasn't exactly in safe hands cut me.

Susan: Tara and Will eh? Hey Sara

Sara: Hey Susan. How you been? I got your phone calls. Don't take it personally but I couldn't reply.

Susan: As if I would

Jerry: Welcome back Dr Richards. You may find that a number of firefighters from last weeks fire have left their name and details in different envelopes in your pile of post.  Just don't let the attention go to your head.

Sara: I missed you too Jerry!

Haleh: Hey girl! Its been quiet without you

Lydia: My sentiments exactly. 

The nurses and Sara shared a quick embrace.

Sara: Well I'm sure you girls are going to fill me in on the gossip soon enough

Lydia: You better believe it. How about tommorow lunchtime? It seems you may be a little busy today dealing with a love sick Carter.

Haleh: Go ahead and make his day, he's in the curtain area.

Sara: I doubt he's going to welcome me with open arms.

Haleh: I can read Carter like a book, ever since Deb shocked him with the peddels as a med student. He's been missing you like crazy and he won't stay angry for long. 

Sara: Cheers Haleh, but I think I better get through some patients first, before Weaver throttles me.

Haleh: ok hun

Lydia: nice to have you back!

Sara: Thanks Lydia

Sara headed over to the lounge, got her stethescope and picked up a chart. "Female, with abdominal pain" Sara couldn't help but think how she would like to be sitting at home right now. But before she could dwell on such a comfarting though for too long, she spotted Carter filling in a chart and Sara decided to go and talk to him. Carter looked up.

Sara: Hey Carter 

Carter: Sara? I've been trying to ring you for days and …

Sara: I know, but I've been busy. I just couldn't ring you.  Look, we need to talk face to face, but not here. Can you meet me meet near the river under the bridge at 5.00. I know you've waited for ages to talk to me but just wait a little longer I need to make it up to Weaver. Are you off then?

Carter: Um.. yeah

Sara: Ok I'll. see you there and Carter… thanks

Carter: For what?

Sara: For being patient and not being angry.

Carter: Its ok

Sara headed toward the curtain area to deal with the female patient.

Carter was surprised at the effect that she had on him. A few moments ago he thought that if Sara walked up to him and started talking that he would give her silent treatment or end up letting out his frustration of the past few days. But as soon as he saw Sara's face, his anger and frustration evaporated. Even now, he tried to stay mad but just couldn't. He felt relieved more than anything, she was safe, she was here and she wanted to explain. That was all the mattered.   


	19. Chapter 18

At 4.50 Sara ran to the river near the bridge and looked for Carter. He wasn't there. She waited a while and checked her watch. It was 4.58. Sara looked toward either end of the river, trying to spot Carter through the midst of people. 5.00

Sara decided to sit down on the bench, she'd been on her feet all day and she was tired. Sara looked up toward the bridge to see if she could spot Carter, no not a sign of him. Sara began getting apprehensive, it was now 5.10 and Carter still hadn't reached the river yet. 

Sara was distracted by a couple sitting at the opposite side of the river, together. They were holding hands and were leaning against each other while they were talking. Sara couldn't help but wish that she would one day have a relationship similar to the one she was witnessing across the river. They seemed so in love, so content. 

Sara turned her head away in order to avoid looking noisy and she spotted Carter who standing a few feet away. They made eye contact as Sara got up and Carter slowly walked toward the bench. The couple opposite had disappeared.

Carter: Hey

Sara: Hey

Carter: What happened to your eye?

Sara: Sharp object, fluky hit 

Carter: Ouch, does it hurt?

Sara: A little. Do you want to go for a walk?

Carter: Yeah sure.

Sara and Carter began walking down the river. The sound of the river soothed Sara's nerves while the people created a useful distraction if Sara needed to look away to hide her emotions. Perfect Sara thought.

Sara: I'll be the first to admit I've been less that honest with you about a lot of things, which I guess isn't the best base to start a relationship if that's where we are heading. But the reason I'm telling you this, is because I hate lying to you because you mean so much to me. 

Carter could sense that what she was about to say was difficult for her and that she didn't need any interuptions. Instead he nodded which was code for continue.

Sara: I'm attracted to you, I have been for months now… That night when I was ill and the evening at the ball I was so close to show you how I felt about you but I couldn't. Half of me didn't want us to be together because I was scared. I was scared of hurting you. 

Carter: Hurting me? You could never hurt me.

Sara: Yes I could. John theres a lot about me and my life that you don't know. Anway after I've told you, I don't expect you to continue wanting to be with me, so don't feel obliged to, I don't mind if you want to take a few days to think about things. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you never wanted to speak to me again.

Sara's eyes began to well up thinking of the possibility of loosing everything. Carter could sense it. He held her hand and turned her to look at him

Carter: Sara, whatever it is, you can tell me. Trust me, just like I trusted you, telling you about what happened to Lucy.

Sara nodded and looked away. Carter led her over to a bench and directed her to sit down. He held her hand, just like she had done when he was at her house after the GSW victims had rolled in.

Sara: I don't know where to start. If I explain everything it's going to take ages.

Carter: Take your time, I'm in no hurry. Just start from the beginning. (he said gently)

Sara: Well it all began when I was born I guess. (she began looking at the river, apparently paying close attention to the movement of the ripples) 

My dad and J were really good friends, best friends in fact. J was a little younger than my Dad though. When I was born they asked J to be my Godfather if anything were to happen, he accepted.

My Dad and J were well known in the rough neighbourhood, they lived in.  There were shootings and stabbings all the time because of feuding gangs. There were 2 main gangs in the neighbourhood and when the fought, all hell broke loose. They ended up injuring and often killing more passerby's and innocent people than each other. They did it to show their power and to keep everyone in line. However there were a large number of people who hated them for it but were to scared to fight. (Sara looked down at her feet carefully examining the interlocking laces while Carter's glance was concentrating on her expression. She was hurting, he knew it. He let her continue by gently squeesing her hand)

My Dad and J however thought that enough was enough. The police were either corrupt or too scared to intervene and the gangs were getting worse.

My Dad and J decided to get a few of the neighbourhood members together and start a team, which would protect the innocent. They began training hard, learning how to defend and fight. Well it worked to an extent. Each time there was trouble my dad, J and the rest of the members would go out and get the innocent out of the way, defend themselves and their families. But in turn they would risk their lives. The gangs were not exactly pleased about the interference and tried to get them to back down. It didn't work.

(Sara closed her eyes, took a deep breathe and continued, while Carter began rhymically stroking her hand with his thumb) 

About two years later my Dad and mother died in a car accident. I was too young to remember, J was distraught but he took me in. J also had Ty living with him and Omarion. Ty was new too, his mum and dad had died in a similar accident. J thinks that the accidents were planned, you know to scare them, into backing down. But it made the other members even more determined and more people joined up. Omarion had lived with J for a while. (A smile vaguely appeared on Sara's lips) I've told you before, I had a wild childhood, but it was the best. I had more fun then you could ever imagine. We would do some stupid things in our neighborhood but everyone respected me because I was J and my dad's girl. Everyone knew everyone else, so when a kid gets in trouble the parents know who to complain to. (Sara looked at Carter, smiling)

Sara: When Omarion was old enough, he too joined J and the other members to help protect the community. Now they were even more determined. There had been a few more timely deaths yet it caused more people to join up. But the members never killed, nor did they ever start a fight or fight for revenge. Those were the rules and no one ever broke them.

When I got older, me and Ty used to do everything together. We even got into trouble together, the neighbours would know that if Ty got caught for throwing water bombs at their kids that I was involved too. (sara laughed to herself)

When I was about 10 me and Ty decided that we would join the members as well and we started training. When we told J he said no. He said he didn't want me out there nor did he want Ty out there. He was supposed to protect us and he wanted us to have normal lives. Well that didn't stop us, me and Ty used to train hard. We spied on the guys and copied what they would do, sit ups, kicks, punches everything. We practiced for hours, pretending we were learning more steps. 

When I was about 12, I came home from school to find J and Omarion gone. We knew what this meant and the old lady next door, Mrs Murphy confirmed our worst fears by telling us where they were. Without hesistation, we got changed and headed towards the fight. On our way we knocked on some doors of guys who were members but were not on duty. They came with us. We worked out where it was because of the noise. As we got there we saw everyone fighting. We spotted J fighting against two guys who were holding him down. Me and Ty stepped in. We worked like a team and got J up. Then we helped Omarion. Our side became stronger with reinforcements and me and Ty. We took J and Omarion home. We had a few cuts but we were fine compared to them. After that J said he didn't want us to fight anymore, even though the rest of the members were shocked at how good we were. But we continued training any way.

When we were around 14 the gangs were fighting in full force. That year there must have been about 8 big fights and me and Ty went too. At first J tried to stop us but after a while he realised he was wasting his breath. Most of all they needed us. We were really good and had began training with Omarion too. Throughout this time we began getting a reputation. I was named babygal, because I was the youngest and one of the only females out there. In our neighbourhood, they loved us. They'd ask how we were doing, if we would like to come to dinner. J too got used to the idea. The gangs stopped involving the community, for a while. They even stopped giving out drugs to young people in our neighbourhood. Kids from the gangs themselves started to come to us. We understood why they did what they did. The main bangers gave out drugs to them. They became addicted and the price went up. In order to repay their debts the young ones had to join up and deal themselves. If they didn't they would either get beaten or their families would get beaten, their sisters would be attacked and their fathers killed.

J and Omarion helped the young bangers get normal jobs to repay their debts. If then they were threatened by the other members then the members of our side would step in and mark the person as protected. We gave loads of people a new life, a chance to live again. Our community started changing, it was safer.

The stories spread throughout America, through every messed up town, giving them hope. For a while everything was good. 

(Sara decided to fix her stare at the tree that two kids were sitting under, because if she looked at Carter she was sure her emotions would get the better of her. She didn't want to look at him, she was too scared to see his reaction. But he was still holding her hand, as tight as ever)

Me and Omarion became close. When we were together, we'd pull pranks or laugh or stick up for each other. By this time he had two kids and was married. He was happy with Lisa and he loved his kids more than anything. Anytime I was down about a guy or anything he'd cheer me up. Ty used to get jealous, he'd ask why I never spoke to him about the really important stuff, I'd laugh. I guess Omarion just understood me. I never had to explain what I was feeling, he'd just know. Everything was perfect, there were no fights, we were doing well financially and our lives were back on track. 

Until August 4th 1995. I came back from basketball practise. J was out with a girl and Ty was at a friends house. Omarion said he was out with Lisa and the kids. 

I headed for the shower. Then the phone started ringing. I picked it up, it was Lisa, she said Omarion hadn't showed up at the café near the park like he was supposed to. He was two hours late and hadn't rung. She was worried. I told her not to panic even though inside my heart was pounding. I rang his phone, it was a brick but he carried it around anyway. He'd brought it when Lisa was pregnant, so she could phone him if she needed to. No one picked up until finally some one spoke. It wasn't him, it was a deeper raspier voice, and I recognised it. It was the voice of Q, a leading banger from Chicago. I asked where he was and Q hang up. I knew Omarion was in trouble. I called J and Ty and told them I need their help. All the other memebers were at work. I ran into the gangs territory, it wasn't far. I knew where they would be. They always carried out their dirty business behind a restaurant which had a back garden of a dump site. When I got there I saw Omarion pinned down on the floor with two guys holding him down and one guy shouting at him. They saw me there. I began defending myself, Omarion got up and joined me once the two guys holding him down released him.  He looked terrible. He had bruises on his face and his legs. 

Then it was me and J versus the 3 other guys, but two mintues later another 3 guys joined the other side and we began our battle. It was all a blur really, I just remember doing my best to keep them at bay and causing injury if I could. I was doing well.

In the midst of it all I turned around to find Omarion on the floor. He had blood pouring down his shirt. Someone had stabbed him but he was awake, he was panting and his attacker was lurking over him. J and Ty arrived with some other people, they saw what was happening and ran over. I became distracted and then I felt a piercing pain in my stomach. The guy ran away as did the other members of his group. I fell down and all I remember seeing was Omarion lying next to me. 

(Tears were at the brink of falling down Sara's face. She blinked them away fiercely. She wasn't going to let Carter see her cry, she hadn't even let J or Ty see her cry over what had happened that night. 

Carter saw her dilemma. He gave her a few seconds to compose her self while he continued keeping his grip on her hand.  

Carter couldn't believe it. He always thought that Omarion had died from a disease or an accident. He never thought that his death was as graphic as Sara had described it. Carter felt a wave of guilt pass over him; he realised he'd never asked Sara how it happened.)

When I came around in the hospital, Ty was sitting next to me crying. He hugged and said he was so glad I was alright and that he loved me so much. I knew something had happened. After a few minutes Ty left and J came in and he looked exactly how he had looked a few months after my dad had died. I asked him how Omarion was. I knew the answer wouldn't be one that I wanted to hear. He told me that he is dying and that he only has a few minutes left. I wanted to see him and I finally convinced the adament nurse to let me see him.  They pushed me into the room in a wheelchair, even though I wasn't supposed to get out of bed. Lisa was in there, she left to give us time to talk. I wouldn't believe that he was going to leave me, but he told me to shut up while he spoke. Kinda typical really. He thanked me, for giving him time to say goodbye to his family and everyone he cared about. He thanked me for risking and nearly giving my life for him. He thanked me for giving him the chance to die with his family by his side. But he told me never to cry for him, but be happy that he lived a full and happy life. He said that he only wished good things for me and that one day I should find happiness with a guy who treats me like a princess. He told me to stay strong for Will, Tara and Lisa and to look after them for him.

Then it was my turn. I told him that I loved him and that he was my brother and that I'd take care of Will and Tara for them. I promised him that I would make sure that they would only receive happiness and that they would always remember their father for the hero he was. But as I was holding his hand, his grip loosened and he died. He had signed a DNR so they didn't try to get him back. I watched him slip away.

After that I kept most of my promises; I took care of Tara and Will. But Lisa was a wreck, she couldn't handle it. She hated him for leaving her alone. She hated him for hurting her. J and Ty tried to help but she was just too angry. She broke down eventually and she had to go and talk to someone while we looked after the kids.

After 2 years she started becoming herself again, but even now she finds it hard knowing that it should be Omarion picking up Tara and Will from school. 

J and Ty helped me through it all. At first I blamed myself but they made me see that it wasn't my fault. They wanted me to cut back on training because of my stomach injury but I was determined to get back to full strength and eventually I did. Many people tried to get me to stop fighting as well but I wanted to continue. I knew that I was helping other people in my own way. The guys who killed Omarion have never been seen in these parts again, they moved away knowing that they would be hunted by the locals. 

As time went on I started going out with guys again but like most of my boyfriends they couldn't handle it if I got hurt. So I just kept my distance. After the incident I didn't let any guy fall in love with me, because I knew that if something happened to like it did to Omarion it would crush them, just like it did Lisa. And each time I would get injured I knew that the guy would feel pain. 

(she looked at John)

And that's why I ran away. You got close and I felt the same. But I know that if ever J and Ty went out to protect someone, even though it doesn't really happen a lot nowadays, that I would go with them, no matter what. If me and you got together and fell in love, then I didn't think you could handle it if you lost me especially after Lucy. Even if I came back with a few cuts and bruises you would fuss and get hurt. I didn't want you to go through that. But Ty made me see that, that you should know the truth and you should decide what is right for you and that I shouldn't make the decision for you… Look you know the truth now, and I'm going to give you time to think about it. Its a lot to take in. When your ready to talk, just come and find me. 

Sara let go of Carters hand and started to walk away. She turned around.

Sara: Carter, what ever you decide, I'll. understand. Just make a decision that's right for you.


	20. Chapter 19

A/N: SORRY FOR THE WAIT! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT'S READ AND REVIEWED, I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT- HONESTLY I DO! IT MAKES IT ALL WORTH WHILE! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE NEXT ENSTALLMENT- ITS BETTER THAN THE LAST 3 CHAPTERS- WELL I THINK IT IS! LET ME KNOW WOT U THINK!

Carter sat in his apartment blindly watching the television not really taking in what the over paid actors were screaming about. His mind was wondering just like it had done for the 20 minutes he sat staring after Sara on the park bench. 

He had a decision to make but everything was one big paint palette in his head. He got up opened his fridge to look for something that could combat this numb feeling he was experiencing. The variety of fast food left overs and tv dinners were staring back at him edging him on to eat them but he opted for a bottle of water instead. He couldn't help picture Sara in his head praising him for his healthy choice instead of a pint of lager. He smiled to himself before returning to the comfort of the couch.

A battle was raging in his head. One the one hand it almost overwhelmed him the amount of happiness and laughter Sara had brought to his life. He looked forward to seeing her everyday, to see her smile and crack jokes at his expense. She made the ER feel alive again just like it had in the days when Carol, Doug and Mark roamed the corridors. He couldn't imagine his life without her and when he had heard her say that she was falling for him it made his heart skip beats at a time. The thoughts that he dreamed about before sleeping and waking up every morning had come true.

On the other hand Sara had just revealed major obstacles in this relationship, her loyalty to her other job and duty to the community. Carter couldn't help but think that this relationship would have too many things to work against if it were to be successful. As selfish as it sounded he didn't want to end up being hurt again, to go through another situation just like with Lucy. He knew that with Sara it would be worse as his feelings towards Sara are so much stronger than they ever were with Lucy. He didn't know if he wanted to risk being hurt again, he couldn't trust himself not to turn back to his old ways. 

At that moment a sharp knock against the wooden door of Carters apartment distracted Carter from his train of thought. Although Carter wanted to ignore the cry of a friend made him decide otherwise. 

" Carter open up, its Abby"

Carter got up and opened the door to find Abby drenched in water standing on the doorstep.

"Hey Carter. It's pouring down outside"

"Is it I never noticed"

"are you ok? You seem a bit preoccupied"

"I'm fine, it's just Sara, we had a talk"

"ok spill"

Carter couldn't help but pour out his feelings to Abby. Once he started Carter found that he couldn't stop. 

C- in a rushed tone- "I don't know what to do… I don't know if I could handle staying up waiting all night to see if she is alright when she goes to help Ty… I would worry about her all the time, and if we were in a relationship then I would be putting myself at risk of getting hurt again just like with Lucy and who is going to guarantee that the relationship would work. I mean we could waste a lot of time and energy trying to sort this all out and it could all be a waste."

"Carter, wait hold on. One thing at a time. First of all, her helping Ty and J and you being worried. Even if you remained friends you would still worry about her like mad so that can't be helped now that you know. The whole Lucy comparison- who's to say that she's going to get hurt or die? I mean do you think Ty or J or any of the brother like family she has is going to let her get hurt? She's a tough one, she'll make it just for you. Ok there may be times when she comes home hurt but you know what that means you can get your own back by pampering her which you know will annoy her"

Carter was laughing to himself at this point as a mental picture of a stubborn Sara ill on a bed came to his mind.

" and finally I can't guarantee that this relationship will work but if you don't give it a go you will be left wondering what could have been for the rest of your lives. And trust me when I say I have never met two people who are so perfect for each other. The way you interact with one another, play fight and just generally are friends with one another is the perfect base to start a relationship from. I can't promise you that its going to be smooth sailing but give it a try, your miserable without each other, and if you get together in the next 3 weeks then I get 10 bucks so wot do you say?"  

"oi! I swear ever since Sara came to the ER the nursing staff have been placing bets on the outcome of her life, don't you have anything better to do?"

"Well it's the only thing that gets us through cleaning soiled drunk men all day, you doctors get it easy, you don't have to give horny drunks sponge baths"

"yeh rectals and pelvics are the highlight of my days"

"oh the sarcasm is just dripping of your tongue today. Anyway I better get going, I just came to see how you were"

"thanks Abby. You're a good friend"

"Yeah I know, anyway I'll see you at work tomorrow. Seize the moment Carter, go and talk to her"

"I will"

Abby left the apartment before Carter picked up his keys, and ran out of the door in order to go and see Sara. 


	21. Chapter 20

Carter sat in the seat of his moving jeep, jerking to the chips and bumps of the roads of Chicago. Carter had decided that he wouldn't think about what he was going to say or do as it seemed to him that as soon as he dwelled on something he built up a mental image of what it would be like and when actually faced with the situation he either felt disappointed with the outcome or lost at the turn of events. In order to distract himself from the forthcoming event that could possibly change his life, Carter had switched on the radio and was currently being aptly entertained by a melody from Mariah Carey's seven-octave vocal range. Carter hummed along to the melody, trying to stop his brain from thinking. 

It seemed like 2 seconds ago to Carter that he had left the apartment but he had arrived at Sara's house. Taking a deep breath while still suppressing his brains thoughts, Carter switched off the radio and got out of his four by four. After securing his car he walked up the path to her house and pressed the round circle that announced the arrival of guests. Soon enough Tyrese answered the door.

Ty: hey Carter

C: Hi Tyrese, um.. Is Sara in?

Ty: Yeh sure she's out the back in the garden. Come in.

C: Thanks

Carter walked through the passage of Sara's house past the lounge and through the sliding door into the garden to see Sara sitting on the stone step with her back towards him.

S: Ty, who is it? (Without turning around)

C: It's me Carter

Sara turned around to face him.   

Sara: Oh… hi.

C: Can we talk please?

Ty: I better be off… See you later Sara, I'll call you later

Sara: Sorry about tonight

Ty: It's ok, I only invited you to cheer you up anyway. See ya later Carter

C: Bye Ty.

Carter turned to face Sara as Ty left them alone. __

C: Sorry did you have plans?

S: No, don't worry about it. Ty just invited me to go out to a club which I can arrange another time. So you wanted to talk?

C:  um.. yeh. To be honest I don't know where to start, I tried not thinking about what to say because if I did then it was likely to not go the way I had planned so I'm jus going to be honest and tell you everything. 

Sara had actually imagined what would happen. In her version Carter ended up saying that their relationship wouldn't work and that they should remain friends while she tried unconvincingly to keep an emotionless expression on her face. 

Sara: Go on

Sara stared at Carter intently as he spoke, their eyes locking together in a moment that they would remember for years to come. Carter reached out for Sara's hand and held it while he spoke.

C: Sara, I'm drawn to you; I have been from the day I met you. I wanted to tell you how I felt but I didn't know if you felt the same until that kiss. In that moment I felt, and I don't mean to sound like a hallmark card when I say, that all my dreams had come true. I'd never felt happier. 

But then you ran away and I didn't know what to think of it, I mean I thought that I'd done something wrong. I felt like I was being punished and I kept re running the events in my mind thinking of a reason why you had acted the way you did until you explained why. You were afraid and you were protecting me from the truth, but I'm glad you stopped protecting me and allowed me to make my own choice. And I have…

Sara I want to be with you, I can't guarantee that this relationship will last but I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. I want this to work and I think we've got a good chance of making this last.

Sara: John are you sure? I mean have you thought this over long and hard because this could affect your life in a big way?

C: I've never been so sure about anything in my life. I want to be with you and I understand there's risks involved, but they are risks I'm willing to take. I'm not going to lie and say that I won't be worried each time you, Ty and J go out to fight but I know you'll try your hardest out there knowing that you've got me to come back too. 

Sara: (smiling) 

And I also know that J, Ty and all the other brothers you've got out there wouldn't let anything happen to you because they love you too much.

And if the worst did happen then I've chosen to take that risk and I'm as prepared as I can be for it. 

Sara if I don't do this I'll regret it for the rest of my life, I'll know that I would wake up every morning wondering what could have been, knowing that I really want you beside me. I just hope you haven't changed your mind about giving us a chance. Sara?


	22. Chapter 21

A/N: You thought I'd b so cruel as to keep you all waiting again for a next installment…I know I've been evil in the past but here's the next part. I want to thank you all again for reading this and all the reviews because they make me want to continue writing! I don't know whether I want to carry it on after this but I have some ideas as to where to take this story further but if anyone thinks I should just finish it now… let me know! I might do "Sara and John few months later" I don't know but thank you again everyone for the support!  Warning: the ending is cheesy but I needed to justify why I called this fic "looking through water"- the truth is I don't know why I called it that- its just came to my head but I thought I would somehow in-corporate it into my fic (I got the idea from TAZmanic who wrote a brill fic I read called hide and seek) so I did put "looking through water" in to the fic and the result is cheesy but oh well! Pls R and R!!

Sara's face lit up in to a smile, the kind when your eyes sparkle and you try to contain the contentment and happiness and she wrapped her arms around Carter, talking to him over his shoulder.

S: As selfish as it sounds I'm glad you made this decision. I mean if you had said no then I would have to have lived with the idea that I pushed you away. (looking at Carter) But are you sure? I thought you would have taken at least a week to decide what you would do not a day. 

C: Sara of course I'm sure. Abby made me realize that this couldn't really be any other way. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about you, or loving you even if this didn't happen.

S: Carter…I'm sorry, I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry for hurting you

C: It doesn't matter any more Sara, you did what you had to do and in some weird way, if things had been different, who knows… we might not be together now.

Carter got up and reached for Sara's hand which she took gladly and rose from the stone step. They were looking at each other, still in awe at the way things had turned out. Carter placed his hands on Sara's hips and their lips met in a warm embrace that symbolised the intensity of the attraction they had for one another. Time passed as they continued to kiss before Sara pulled away, and turned around while Carter wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her. They both gazed in the same direction up at the stars in the sky.

S: You know, just before you came here to talk to me, Ty said something to me. He said that ever since Omarions death, it was as if I was looking through water, all the way till the base of a glass. He said, I was adamant not to change my life and determined that it would stay the same. But then when you came in to my life… I saw a reflection of us and not just the base of the glass anymore. I saw that helping J and Ty was not the only destination for my life anymore. 

Carter thank you. Thank you for stopping me looking through water.   


	23. THANK YOU

I'd jus like to say thank you to…

Tina

Anon y mous

Gem 6

Mob

Morven

Lemonjelly

Er Carby luva

…for all reviewing this fic because it was much appreciated!

Also to Sarah L (who is a carby at heart and still read my fic) who emailed me after each instalment to give me personal feed back and she also bugged me to update it!

And finally to all the people on the ER forum who also reviewed this fic for me!

Thank you everyone- your support means a lot to me!

(I forgot to put this in to A/N section of the last chapter and couldn't be bothered to edit the chapter!)


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